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ballet　tights　took　the　stage。　？Wele　all　to　open　mike　at　Rivington　Rover。　It　is　so　special　to　have　
you　here；？　she　whispered　into　the　microphone。　？Tonight　two　of　New　York？s　most　special　poets　
will　recite　for　us　simultaneously。　I？m　honored　to　give　the　stage　to　Mystery　Craze　and　Daniel　
Humphrey！？　

The　dark；　crowded　room　erupted　in　applause。　

？I　heard　they　stayed　up　all　night　on　E　and　wrote　a　book　together；？　somebody　whispered。　

？I　heard　they　were　husband　and　wife。？　

？I　heard　they？re　fraternal　twins；　separated　at　birth；？　remarked　someone　else。　

Vanessa　slipped　into　the　back　of　the　club　unnoticed。　？What　kind　of　name　is　Mystery　Craze？？　she　
wondered　as　she　put　her　camera　to　her　eye　and　zoomed　in　on　the　stage。　

Dan？s　entire　body　was　covered　in　a　cold；　freaked…out　sweat。　Everything　was　happening　so　fast。　
He　hadn？t　even　had　a　chance　to　contemplate　how　he？d　gone　from　writing　strange；　morose　poetry　
in　notebooks　no　one　ever　read　to　performing　onstage　with　an　almost…famous　girl　in　a　cool　club；　
wearing　a　fancy　designer　suit。　But　there　was　no　time　to　doubt　himself。　He？d　acted　in　plays；　
performed　in　Vanessa？s　movies。　He　was　the　new　Rilke。　He　peeled　off　his　jacket；　and　rolled　up　his　
sleeves。　He　could　do　this。　

Mystery　was　already　waiting　for　him　onstage；　her　bony　fingers　clenching　the　microphone　in　
white…knuckled　anticipation。　Dan　could　see　now　that　there　were　two　mikes；　one　for　him　and　one　
for　her。　


？What？s　your　favorite　noun？？　Mystery　asked　the　audience　in　her　low；　husky　voice。　

？Pie！？　an　obviously　shitfaced　ponytailed　guy　in　the　front　row　shouted　back。　

？You？re　the　antithesis　of　pie；？　Mystery　hissed　at　Dan　as　he　took　the　stage。　？I　want　to　eat　you　
alive。？　

Dan　cleared　his　throat　and　reached　for　the　microphone　stand　to　steady　himself。　？What？s　your　
favorite　verb？？　he　asked　in　response；　surprised　by　how　sure　of　himself　he　sounded。　

？Sex；？　Mystery　answered　coolly。　She　dropped　to　her　hands　and　knees；　slithering　toward　him　with　
the　microphone　between　her　teeth。　？Sex；？　she　repeated；　crawling　between　his　legs　and　clawing　her　
way　up　his　body　until　their　faces　were　only　a　centimeter　apart。　The　yellow　dress　made　her　teeth　
look　even　yellower。　

The　camera　wobbled　in　Vanessa？s　hands。　Sothis　was　why　she　hadn？t　heard　a　peep　out　of　Dan　
lately；　not　even　to　work　onMaking　Poetry　。　Dan　had　been　making　poetry　with　Mystery　Craze。　And　
as　much　as　it　hurt　to　watch　the　boy　she？d　been　in　love　with　for　almost　three　years　fall　under　the　
spell　of　a　girl　whose　real　name　was　probably　something　totally　boring　and　unpoetic　like　Jane　
James；　Vanessa　couldn？t　bring　herself　to　stop　filming。　Something　was　happening　to　Dan　that　she　
had　to　get　on　film。　He　seemed　to　be　discovering　himself；　right　before　her　eyes。　

？Feed　me；？　Dan　growled　into　the　mike　as　Mystery　writhed　beneath　him。　？Bare　your　naked　body　
on　my　plate。？　

The　crowded　whooped　and　shrieked　in　delight。　Dan　couldn？t　believe　what　a　total　blast　he　was　
having。　He　was　a　rock？n？roll　poet；　a　sex　god！　Forget　Rilke；　he　was　Jim　Morrison！　He　dragged　
Mystery　off　the　floor　and　dove　at　her　mouth　in　a　hard　and　hungry　rock…god　kiss。　

Vanessa　kept　filming；　hot　tears　streaming　down　her　pale　cheeks。　She　couldn？t　stop；　and　she　
wasn？t　doing　it　to　torture　herself。　She　was　doing　it　for　the　sake　of　her　art。　

Onstage；　Dan　unbuttoned　his　shirt　and　Mystery　licked　his　chest。　

？Oh；　Daddy；？　she　whispered　huskily。　

　Oh；brother　。　

diva　makes　her　entrance　


？Wele；　everyone；？　Jackie　Davis　greeted　Breakaway？s　Friday　afternoon　teen　therapy　
group。　？I？m　so　pleased　to　wele　back　our　old　friend　Georgina　Spark。？　She　tapped　her　pencil　
against　her　clipboard。　？We？re　also　expecting　a　new　friend　today。　But　while　we？re　waiting　for　her　
I？d　like　to　recognize　two　members　of　the　group　for　their　courage　and　for　demonstrating　what　I　like　
to　calllife…building　for　the　rest　of　us。？　She　beamed　an　encouraging　smile　at　Nate。　？Nate；　would　
you　like　to　tell　us　about　what　happened　last　Friday　now　that　Georgie　is　back？？　

Nate　tipped　his　chair　back　and　then　righted　it　again。　Across　the　circle　from　him　Georgie　was　
sitting　with　her　legs　crossed；　wearing　orange　satin　short　shorts　and　orange　leather　sandals；　which　
was　kind　of　a　strange　choice　for　the　middle　of　February；　but　it　wasn？t　like　she　went　outside　very　
much　these　days。　Her　luxurious　dark　hair　clung　to　her　Snow　White　face　as　she　looked　up　at　him　
with　a　coy　smile　on　her　dark　red　lips。　

Nate　rubbed　his　hands　against　his　olive　green　Ralph　Lauren　cords。　God；　he　wished　he　could　kiss　
her。　The　other　members　of　the　group　were　waiting　eagerly。　They　knew　some　serious　shit　had　gone　
down　but　they　still　hadn？t　heard　the　whole　story。　

？Go　on；　Nate；？　Jackie　prompted。　

？Friday　night　I　was　over　at　Georgie？s　house　and　we　were　having　a　good　time；　um；　getting　to　
know　each　other；？　he　began　to　explain。　？Then　I　figured　out　that　Georgie　was　kind　of　having　her　
own　separate　little　party　in　the　medicine　cabinet。　When　she　conked　out　I　got　kind　of　worried。　So　I　
called　Jackie。？　

？It　was　a　cry　for　help；？　Georgie　intoned　with　mock　enthusiasm。　

Nate　chuckled　to　himself。　She　was　still　a　mess；　but　so　fucking　irresistible。　And　he　was　glad　he　
had　to　go　to　rehab　for　six　whole　months；　because　he　actually　wanted　to　help　her　the　way　she　had　
helped　him。　

？We　got　her　to　the　clinic　just　in　time。　She？s　going　to　live　here　for　a　while；　and　she？s　been　doing　
wonderfully　so　far；　haven？t　you　Georgie？？　Jackie　gushed。　

Georgie　nodded　and　hugged　herself；　a　placid　smile　plastered　to　her　face。　？The　meatloaf　at　dinner　
last　night　was　not　to　be　believed。？　

？Let？s　put　our　hands　together　and　give　them　both　props　for　their　courage！？　Jackie　cried。　Every　
member　of　the　group　stood　up　and　applauded；　including　Georgie　and　Nate。　

？Hey；？　Georgie　mouthed　to　Nate　and　licked　her　bloodred　lips。　

？Hey；？　Nate　mouthed　back。　

？Right　this　way；　miss。？　


Blair　smoothed　down　her　freshly　plucked　eyebrows　and　rubbed　her　pink…glossed　lips　together　as　
she　followed　one　of　Breakaway？s　linen…clad　staff　members　to　the　room　where　the　teen　group　
therapy　session　was　already　under　way。　She　was　wearing　her　new　vintage　black；　red；　and　purple　
Diane　von　Furstenberg　wrap　dress　paired　with　her　favorite　pair　of　pointy　black　suede　knee…high　
boots；　and　she　was　positively　brimming　with　excitement　at　the　idea　of　spilling　her　guts　in　front　of　
a　rapt　audience　that　would　include　Nate。　

？Wele；　Blair　Waldorf；？　a　dowdy　woman　wearing　ugly　brown　lipstick　greeted　her　when　the　
staff　member　opened　the　door。　She　walked　over　and　ushered　Blair　into　the　room。　？I？m　Jackie　
Davis；　the　teen　group　facilitator。　Please　e　in　and　have　a　seat。？　

Blair　surveyed　the　group。　There　was　Natie；　her　Nate；　looking　scrumptious　as　ever　in　his　olive　
green　cords　which　set　off　his　wonderful　green　eyes。　To　her　dismay；　the　only　empty　chair　was　next　
to　this　Jackie　person　who　Blair　could　already　tell　was　a　total　drip。　

？You　can　all　sit　down　again；？　Jackie　instructed；　taking　her　seat。　？Now；　what　we　like　to　do　when　a　
new　member　joins　the　group　is　go　around　the　circle　saying　who　we　are　and　naming　the　thing　or　
the　circumstance　that　brought　us　here。　Be　as　specific　and　concise　as　possible。　Remember；　naming　
your　weakness　is　the　first　step　toward　taking　control　of　it。　Don？t　worry；　Blair；？　Jackie　put　a　
reassuring　hand　on　Blair？s　arm；　？I　won？t　make　you　go　first。　Billy；　would　you　like　to　begin？？　

A　stocky；　muscular　boy　in　a　white　Dartmouth　sweatshirt　rubbed　his　hands　together　
nervously。　？I？m　Billy　White。　I？m　addicted　to　lifting　weights　and　drinking　muscle…building　drinks；？　
he　announced。　？I？m　an　exercise　bulimic。？　

Nate　was　next。　He　couldn？t　believe　Blair　had　actually　turned　up　at　Breakaway；　but　he？d　known　
her　long　enough　not　to　put　anything　past　her。　？I？m　Nate　and　I　used　to　smoke　marijuana　every　day；　
but　I　have　to　say；　lately　I　haven？t　really　wanted　to。？　It　was　sort　of　strange　to　admit　this　in　front　of　
Blair；　the　girl　from　back　in　the　days　when　he？d　been　permanently　stoned。　

Blair？s　eyebrows　shot　up　in　pleased　surprise。　Was　Nate　really　reforming？　Was　he　doing　it　
forher　？　

？I？m　Hannah　Koto；？　said　the　girl　sitting　next　to　Nate。　？I？ve　taken　E　every　day　since　my　dog　died　
last　summer。？　She　glanced　at　Jackie。　？Sorry。Ecstasy　；？　she　clarified。　

？I？m　Campbell　and　I？m　a　budding　alcoholic；？　said　a　blond　boy　who　looked　no　older　than　ten。　？I　
cleaned　out　my　parents？　wine　cellars　in　Darien　and　Cape　Cod。？　

？I？m　Georgie　and　I？ll　do　anything；？　said　a　strikingly　beautiful　girl　with　long；　silky　brown　hair；　
enormous　brown　eyes；　and　dark　red　lips。　She　was　wearing　orange　satin　Miu　Miu　short　shorts　and　
beautiful　tangerine　leather　Jimmy　Choo　sandals；　Blair　noted　enviously。　？Lately　I　like　pills　and　I　
used　to　be　scared　that　one　day　I？d　fall　asleep　and　never　wake　up　again。　But　now　that　I　know　I　have　


a　knight　in　shining　armor　。　。　。？　She　batted　her　thick　brown　eyelashes　in　Nate？s　direction。　Blair？s　
hackles　rose。　

？Thank　you；　Georgie；？　Jackie　interrupted　before　Georgie　could　say　anything　that　might　
jeopardize　her　control　over　the　group。　？Next？？　

？I？m　Jodia　and　I？m　an　alcoholic；　too；？　said　the　chubby　girl　sitting　next　to　Blair。　？I　even　drank　
perfume　once。？　

？Me　too；？　Blair　cut　in；　eager　to　top　Georgie？s　performance。　She　uncrossed　and　recrossed　her　legs；　
giving　the　room　a　glimpse　of　her　sexy　black　fishnets　through　the　slit　in　her　dress。　？I？m　Blair　
and　。　。　。？　She　hesitated。　Where　to　begin？　She　took　a　deep；　dramatic　breath。　

？My　parents　got　divorced　last　year。　It　turns　out　my　father　was　gay　and　he　was　fooling　around　
with　my　mom？s　personal　assistant；　who　was　only　twenty…one。　They？re　still　together；　and　now　they　
live　in　a　chateau　in　a　vineyard　in　France。　My　mother　just　married　this　gross　fat　freak　real　estate　
developer　and　now　they？re　having　a　baby；　even　though　she？s；　like；　a　hundred　years　old。　It？s　a　girl；　
they　just　found　out。　I　was　supposed　to　apply　early　to　Yale；　but　my　interview　sucked。　So　this　old　
friend　of　my　father？s　said　he？d　give　me　an　alumni　interview。　He　was　really　attractive　and　I？d　
never　been　with　an　older　guy　before　so　I　kind　of　hooked　up　with　him；？　she　glanced　apologetically　
at　Nate。　He？d　forgive　her　for　philandering；　just　as　she？d　forgive　him　for　straying　from　her。　

Jackie　listened　with　her　mouth　agape。　She　was　used　to　the　kids　in　teen　group　giving　a　little　more　
detail　than　was　necessary；　but　she？d　never　run　across　anyone　who　seemed　to　enjoy　talking　about　
herself　so　much。　

？I　think　part　of　the　reason　I　cut　all　my　hair　off　was　I　was　trying　to　make　myself　ugly；　even　though　
I　didn？t　realize　it　at　the　time。　I　thought　short　hair　might　look　cool　on　me。　But　I　think　I　was　maybe；　
you　know；　bringing　all　the　ugliness　inside　to　the　surface？　And　this　past　week　I　stayed　home　from　
school。　I　wasn？t　really　sick；　I　just　couldn？t？？　

？I？m　sorry　to　interrupt；　but　if　you　could　simply　name　your　problem？；？　Jackie　broke　in　when　she　
realized　Blair　wasn？t　even　close　to　being　finished。　

Blair　frowned　and　twisted　her　little　ruby　ring　around　and　around　on　her　finger。　It　sounded　like　
she　had　to　have　aspecific　problem　or　they？d　kick　her　out。　？Sometimes　when　I？m　upset？which；　
considering　what　my　life　is　like　now；　is　all　the　time？I　eat　too　much；　or　I　eat　something　that　I　
shouldn？t；　and　then　I　make　myself　sick。？There　；　that　sounded　convincing。　

Jackie　nodded。　？Can　you　name　your　problem　Blair？　There？s　a　name　for　that　you　know。？　

Blair　glared　at　her。　？Stress…induced　regurgitation？？　she　answered　tightly。　She　knew　Jackie　wanted　
her　to　saybulimia　；　but　it　was　such　a　gross　word；　she　refused　to　say　it；　especially　in　front　of　Nate。　
Bulimia　was　for　losers。　


The　rest　of　the　room　tittered。　Jackie　was　eager　to　get　the　group　back　on　track　after　Blair？s　
soliloquy。　？Well；　I　suppose　that？s　one　way　of　putting　it；？　she　noted；　marking　something　on　her　
clipboard。　

She　looked　up　and　smoothed　back　her　wiry　brown　hair。　？Now　it？s　my　turn。　I？m　Jackie　Davis　and　
my　job　is　to　help　youbreak　away　！？　She　punched　her　fist　into　the　air　and　let　out　a　little　whoop　like　
she　was　at　a　basketball　game　and　her　team　had　just　scored。　She　waited　for　the　members　of　the　
group　to　punch　the　air　with　their　fists　and　whoop　along　with　her；　but　they　just　s