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？Indescribable；？　he　finally　answered；　because　there　really　were　no　words　to　describe　how　it　had　
felt。　Writing　a　poem　about　sex　would　be　impossible；　unless　he　resorted　to　boring；　clich？d　
metaphors　like　exploding　fireworks　or　musical　crescendos。　Even　those　were　totally　inaccurate。　
They　gave　no　sense　of　the　actualfeeling　；　or　how　sex　was　this　whole　discovery　process　during　
which　everything　monplace　became　absolutely　amazing。　For　instance；　Vanessa？s　left　arm：　it　
wasn？t　a　particularly　spectacular　arm？fleshy　and　pale；　covered　in　brownish　fuzz；　and　sprinkled　
with　moles。　While　they？d　been　having　sex　it　had　no　longer　been　the　same　old　arm　he？d　known　
and　loved　since　he　and　Vanessa　had　accidentally　gotten　locked　out　of　a　party　in　tenth　grade？it　had　
been　an　exquisite；　precious　thing　that　he　couldn？t　stop　kissing；　something　new　and　exciting　and　
delicious。　Oh；God　。　See？　Everything　he　could　think　of　to　describe　what　sex　was　like　sounded　like　
a　lame　ad　for　a　new　cereal　or　something。　Even　the　wordsex　was　wrong；　andmaking　love　sounded　
like　a　bad　soap　opera。　

Electricwould　have　been　a　good　word　to　describe　what　sex　was　like；　but　then　again；　it　had　too　
many　negative　connotations；　like　the　electric　chair　or　an　electric　cattle　fence。Teeming　was　another　
good　word；　but　what　did　it　mean　exactly？　Andquivering　sounded　too　dainty　and　puny；　like　a　
scared　little　mouse。　If　he　were　ever　going　to　write　a　poem　about　sex；　he　wanted　to　provoke　
thoughts　of　sexy；　muscular　beasts　like　lions　and　stags；　not　mice。　

？Earth　to　Dan？？　Vanessa　reached　over　and　flicked　her　finger　against　his　earlobe。　

？Pinnacle；？　Dan　muttered　senselessly。　？Epiphany。？　

Vanessa　ducked　under　the　sheet　and　blew　a　giant　raspberry　on　Dan？s　pale；　hollow　
stomach。　？Hello？　Are　you　in　shock　or　something？？　

Dan　grinned　and　scooted　her　up　his　chest　so　he　could　kiss　her　Cheshire　cat　mouth　and　dimpled　


chin。　？Let？s　do　it　again。？

　Whoo！　

Vanessa　giggled　and　rubbed　her　nose　against　his　unruly　brown　eyebrows。　？So　I　guess　you　
enjoyed　it；　huh？？　

Dan　kissed　her　right　eye　and　then　her　left。　？Mmm；？　he　sighed；　his　whole　body　humming　with　
pleasure　and　desire。　？I　love　you。？　

Vanessa　collapsed　on　his　chest　and　squeezed　her　eyes　shut。　She　wasn？t　a　very　girly　girl；　but　no　
girl　can　help　but　melt　the　first　time　she　hears　a　boy　say　those　three　words。　

？I　love　you；　too；？　she　whispered　back。　

Dan　felt　like　his　whole　body　was　smiling。　Who？d　known　this　mundane　Monday　in　February　
would　wind　up　so　damned　。　。　。great　？　

So　much　for　flowery　descriptions　and　poetic　turns　of　phrase。　

All　of　a　sudden　his　cell　phone　sounded　its　startling；　vibrating　ring　from　where　it　sat　on　the　
bedside　table；　only　inches　away。　Dan　was　pretty　sure　it　was　only　his　little　sister；　Jenny；　calling　to　
plain　about　school　again。　He　turned　his　head　to　read　the　number　on　the　little　screen。　PRIVATE；　
the　message　flashed；　which　only　happened　when　Vanessa　called　him　from　home。　

？It？s　your　sister。？　Dan　propped　himself　up　on　one　elbow　as　he　reached　for　his　phone。　？Maybe　
she？s　calling　to　tell　you　to　get　your　own　damn　cell　phone；finally　；？　he　joked。　？Should　I　answer　it？？　

Vanessa　rolled　her　eyes。　She　and　her　twenty…two…year…old　bass…guitar…playing　sister；　Ruby；　shared　
an　apartment　in　the　Williamsburg　section　of　Brooklyn。　Ruby　had　made　three　New　Year？s　
resolutions：　to　do　yoga　every　day；　to　drink　green　tea　instead　of　coffee；　and　to　be　more　nurturing　
toward　Vanessa；　since　their　own　parents　were　too　busy　being　art…hippie　freaks　up　in　Vermont　to　
nurture　her　themselves。　Vanessa　was　pretty　sure　Ruby　was　only　calling　to　ask　when　she？d　be　
home　so　Ruby　could　have　the　meatloaf　and　mashed　potatoes　all　done　when　she　got　there；　but　it　
was　so　unlike　Ruby　to　call　Dan？s　phone　right　in　the　middle　of　the　school　day　that　she　couldn？t　
resist　answering。　

She　took　the　ringing　phone　from　Dan　and　clicked　it　open。　？Yeah？　How　did　you　know　where　to　
find　me？？　

？Well；　good　afternoon　to　you；　darling　sister　o？　mine；？　Ruby　chirped　cheerfully。　？Remember？　I　
stuck　your　schedule　up　on　the　refrigerator　so　I？d　know　exactly　where　you　are　and　what　you？re　
thinking　about　at　all　times；　like　the　new　and　improved　version　of　Big　Brothers　Big　Sisters。　
Anyway；　I　just　wanted　you　to　know　that　the　mail　came　and　there　was　a　suspicious…looking　


envelope　from　NYU　addressed　to　you。　I　couldn？t　help　but　open　it。　And　guess　what？You　got　in！　？　

？No　fucking　way！？　Vanessa？s　body　was　already　shot　through　with　adrenaline　from　saying；　？I　
love　you；？　and　nowthis　。　Not　to　be　cheesy；　but　talk　about　orgasmic！　

She？d　never　been　sure　of　her　chances　of　getting　in　early；　and　just　to　show　the　NYU　admissions　
office　her　artistic　range　and　to　prove　how　serious　she　was　about　being　a　film　major；　she？d　sent　
them　the　New　York　film　essay　that　she？d　shot　over　Christmas　break。　Once　she？d　sent　it　in；　she？d　
worried　they？d　think　she　was　trying　too　hard。　But　now　her　worries　were　over。　They　liked　her！　
They　wanted　her！　Vanessa　could　finally　shake　the　bitchy；　shallow　shackles　of　Constance　Billard　
for　good　and　focus　on　her　craft　at　a　place　for　serious　artists　like　herself。　

Dan　was　gazing　up　at　her　from　the　bed。　His　sweet　brown　eyes　seemed　to　be　shining　a　little　less　
ecstatically　than　they　had　been　before。　

？I？m　so　proud　of　you；　sweetie；？　Ruby　crooned　in　her　most　motherly　voice。　？Will　you　be　home　
for　dinner？　I？ve　been　reading　Eastern　European　cookbooks。　I？m　thinking　of　making　pierogi。？　

？Sure；？　Vanessa　answered　quietly；　suddenly　concerned　about　Dan。　He　hadn？t　applied　anywhere　
early；　so　it　would　be　a　couple　months　before　he　found　out　where　he　was　going　next　year。　Dan　was　
so　sensitive。　This　was　just　the　sort　of　thing　that　could　throw　him　into　an　insecurity…induced　
depression；　the　kind　where　he　locked　himself　in　his　room　and　wrote　poems　about　dying　in　a　car　
accident　or　something。　？Thanks　for　letting　me　know；？　she　told　Ruby　quickly。　？I？ll　see　you　later；　
okay？？　

Dan　was　still　staring　up　at　her　expectantly　as　she　clicked　off　the　phone　and　dropped　it　on　the　
bed。　？You　got　into　NYU；？　he　said；　trying　but　failing　to　hide　the　note　of　accusation　in　his　voice。　Oh；　
how　skinny　and　stupid　and　inadequate　he　was！　Not　that　he　wasn？t　happy　for　her；　but　Vanessa　was　
already　into　college；　and　he　was　just　this　scrawny　guy　who　liked　to　write　poems　and　who　might　
never　get　into　college　at　all。　？Wow；？　he　added　hoarsely。　？That？s　great。？　

Vanessa　flopped　back　on　the　bed　and　pulled　the　sheet　up　around　them。　The　room　felt　colder　now　
that　the　sweat　of　passion　had　cooled　on　their　bodies。　？It？s　really　no　big　deal；？　she　argued；　trying　to　
play　down　the　excitement　she？d　exuded　when　she？d　heard　the　news。　？You？re　the　one　with　a　poem　
about　to　e　out　inThe　New　Yorker　。？　

Over　Christmas　break；　Vanessa　had　submitted　Dan？s　poem　？Sluts？　toThe　New　Yorker　without　
his　knowing；　and　it　had　been　accepted　for　publication　in　the　Valentine？s　Day　double　issue；　which　
would　be　out　later　that　week。　？I　guess；？　Dan　agreed；　shrugging　his　shoulders　dubiously。　？But　I　still　
don？t　know　anything　。　。　。　I　mean；　about　myfuture　。？　

Vanessa　encircled　Dan？s　waist　with　her　arms　and　pressed　her　cheek　into　his　pale；　ribby　chest。　
She　still　couldn？t　believe　she　was　going　to　NYU　in　the　fall。　It　was　a　sure　thing；　her　destiny。　Still　
trembling　with　excitement；　she　tried　to　focus　on　consoling　Dan。　？How　many　other　


seventeen…year…old　kids　have　you　heard　of　with　poems　published　inThe　New　Yorker　？　It？s　
amazing；？　she　murmured　gently。　？And　as　soon　as　the　admissions　officers　at　the　colleges　you　
applied　to　find　out　about　it；　you？re　going　to　get　in　everywhere　you　applied；　and　maybe　even　places　
you　didn？t。？　

？Maybe；？　Dan　responded　hollowly。　It　was　easy　for　Vanessa　to　sound　so　confident。　She　was　
alreadyin　。　

Vanessa　propped　herself　up　on　one　elbow。　There　was　one　sure　way　of　making　Dan　feel　better；　at　
least　for　a　little　while。　？Remember　what　we　were　doing　right　before　Ruby　called？？　she　purred　like　
a　mischievous　black　kitty　cat。　

Dan　frowned　up　at　her。　One　black　eyebrow　was　cocked　at　a　sultry　angle　and　her　pale　nostrils　
were　flared。　He　hadn？t　thought　he？d　be　up　to　it　anymore；　but　his　body　surprised　him。　He　pulled　
Vanessa　down　on　top　of　him　and　kissed　her　hard。　If　anything　could　make　a　boy　feel　more　like　a　
lion　than　a　mouse；　it　was　a　little　purring。　

　Me…ow。　

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ABC　Amber　LIT　Converter　v2。02　
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Disclaimer：　All　the　real　names　of　places；　people；　and　events　have　been　altered　or　abbreviated　to　
protect　the　innocent。　Namely；　me。　

　hey　people！　

　Serena？s　Tears　

The　Les　Best　people　didn？t　waste　any　time　getting　their　new　perfume　ad　out　and　by　now　you？ve　
all　seen　it。　Magnifique；　non？　The　perfume？s　not　available　until　April　unless；　like　me；　you　have　
access　to　things　no　one　else　does。　It？s　a　heady　jasmine　scent　with　subtle　undertones　of　sandalwood　
and　patchouli。　I？m　wearing　it　right　now　and　I　have　to　admit　it？s　just　as　divine　as　the　ad。　But　when　
a　certain　blond　is　involved；　we　wouldn？t　expect　any　less　would　we？　

Teen　heiress　donates　portion　of　inheritance　to　rehab　

It　seemsN　？s　poor　little　rich　girl　has　been　bitten　by　the　generosity　bug。　To　show　her　gratitude　to　
those　who　have　helped　her　in　the　last　few　weeks　she？s　funding　the　construction　of　state…of…the…art　
stables　on　Breakaway？s　rambling　Connecticut　property。　The　stables　will　house　horses；　pigs；　goats；　


dogs；　cats；　and　chickens；　which　will　be　used　for　therapeutic　purposes；　of　course。　Apparently　
milking　goats　can　work　wonders　on　the　drug…addled　minds　of　coke　fiends。　Let？s　just　hope　our　
beloved　heiress　keeps　her　hands　off　the　stables？　medicine　cabinet！　

　Your　e…mail　

Q：？　？　Hi　GG；　

I？m　an　outpatient　at　Breakaway　and　I　was　there　today　when　this　girl　with　messy　short　hair　and　

fur　boots　came　in　and　tossed　her　platinum　credit　card　at　the　nurse　at　reception。　She　wanted　to　book　
a　private　room　for　two　weeks；　preferably　with　a　view　of　the　fountain。　

Hello？They　told　her　she　couldn？t　stay　there　unless　she　was　harmful　to　herself　or　others；　but　that　
she　was　wele　to　e　to　teen　group　if　she　wanted。　

　？sun　

A：？　？　Hello　sun；　

I？m　surprised　she　didn？t　try　booking　a　series　of　facials！　If　you？re　in　teen　group　I？d　steer　clear　of　
her。　It　sounds　like　she？s　on　a　mission。　

　？GG　

　Sightings　

Jand　her　two　new　pals　atBowlmor　Lanes　。　They　look　so　cute　together；　but　I？ve　been　there；　and　
threesomes　never　work。S　home　sick　from　school　on　Friday　with　bronchitis。　That　will　teach　her　to　
wear　sundresses　in　February！B　shopping　for　her　rehab　outfit　in　a　vintage　store　onMulberry　Street　。　
If　she？s　going　to　get　the　part　of　the　desperate　junkie；　she　has　to　look　authentic。D　practicing　for　
theRivington　Rover　Poetry　Club　open　mike　on　the　subway；　whispering　to　himself　over　the　
clackety…clack　of　the　train。　

It？s　time　to　get　out　and　do　something　cultural　for　once。　See　you　at　the　open　mike　tonight！　

You　know　you　love　me。　

　gossip　girl　

for　the　sake　of　her　art　


？I？m　glad　you？re　here；？　Dan　told　Mystery　as　she　ran　her　chewed…on；　yellow…nailed　fingers　
through　his　fashionably　tousled　hair。　By　total　coincidence　he　and　Mystery　had　arrived　at　the　
Rivington　Rover　Poetry　club　at　the　same　time；　and　for　the　last　fifteen　minutes　they？d　been　
smoking　unfiltered　Camels　and　groping　each　other　in　a　stall　in　the　graffiti…ridden　ladies？　room；　
trying　to　get　psyched　up　for　their　reading。　？I？m　kind　of　nervous。？　

？Don？t　be；？　Mystery　loosened　his　narrow　black　tie　and　clasped　his　hand。　？e　on。　Let？s　see　
what　we？ve　got。？　

They　emerged　from　the　ladies？　room　hand　in　hand；　Mystery　in　a　transparent　canary　yellow　silk　
sheath　through　which　her　black　cotton　underwear　was　pletely　visible；　and　Dan　in　his　new　
black　suit：　the　Bonnie　and　Clyde　of　poetry。　

The　small；　dark　basement　club　was　already　crowded　with　people　sipping　coffee　and　lounging　on　
the　tattered　old　sofas　haphazardly　dotting　the　room。　A　random　disco　ball　spun　from　the　black　
ceiling　and　over　the　sound　system　Morrissey　whined　a　depressing　song　from　his　latest　album。　

The　lights　blinked　on　and　off　twice　and　a　tiny　Japanese　girl　wearing　a　black　leotard　and　pink　
ballet　tights　took　the　stage。　？Wele　all　to　open　mike　at　R