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　hey　people！　

Okay；　so　I　know　I　already　interrupted　your　regularly　scheduled　programming　for　an　important　
message；　but　this　is　anemergency。　I？m　putting　out　an　APB？that？s　all…points…bulletin　in　case　you　
didn？t　know？on　some　of　our　very　favorite　people。　。　。　。　

Missing：　A　vintage　hunter　green　Aston　Martin　convertible。　Last　seen　speeding　out　of　Georgica　
Pond　a　little　after　sundown。　Reports　vary；　but　my　best　sources　say　the　car　contained　at　least　three　
people？a　guy　and　two　girls？and　I？m　getting　reports　that　at　least　one　of　the　girls　was　wearing　white。　
Could　someone　be　eloping？　Please　keep　your　eyes　peeled。　And　now；　back　to　your　regularly　
scheduled　dish。　

　book　report　

Our　first　juicy　report　affirms　what　I　both　hoped　and　feared　about　those　book　geeks：　they　reallyare　
freaks　in　bed。　Rumor　has　it　that　a　certain　Harlem…based　intellectual　salon　went　from　sping　
literary　thought　to　sping　spit？and　fast。　Talk　about　an　introductory　？getting　to　know　you？　


meeting。　I　wonder　if　that？s　what　D　and　his　new　friend　G　had　in　mind　when　they　sought　
out　？like…minded　young　men　and　women？　and　asked　applicants　to　attach　their　pictures。　。　。　。　Then　
again；　from　what　I　hear；　these　eager　literati　saw　beyond　the　shackles　of　identity？like；　um；　
gender？and　simply　embraced　the　soul　（and　some　other　things）　of　the　person　next　to　them。　I　guess　
that？s　what　they　mean　about　not　judging　a　book　by　its　cover。　

So　does　this　little　freak…orgy　mean　the　demise　of　literary　debate？　Can　people　no　longer　sit　around　
a　rambling　Harlem　apartment　and　discuss　great　works　of　literature　without　getting　frisky？　Or　does　
it　symbolize　the　return　of　freaky　group…sex　organizations　like　Plato？s　Retreat？　（Can　I　just　say　。　。　。　
ew。）　Sorry　to　disappoint；　but　for　once　I　don？t　know　for　sure。　Iwill　tell　you　what　it　means　for　me；　
however：　I　am　never；　ever　going　above　One…hundredth　Street。　I　don？t　care　how　？stimulating？　the　
event　promises　to　be。　

　paint　by　numbers　

Speaking　of　parties　with　an；　ahem；　same…sex　appeal；　I　have　a　bone　to　pick　with　a　certain　
flamboyant　designer　about　his　latest　stylish　affair：　What？s　with　the　all…white　theme？　For　people　
who　consider　themselves　free　thinkers；　the　idea　itself　is　just　so　。　。　。　single…minded　（although　maybe　
I？m　just　smarting　from　my　exclusion　from　the　party；　due　to　the　similarlysingle…minded　
all…maletheme）。　I　suppose　it？s　a　way　for　the　rich　and　famous　to　make　themselves　feel　chic　and　
fabulous？anybody　remember　that　rocker　whose　Greenwich　Village　apartment　was　done　entirely　in　
white？　Even　his　guests　had　to　match　the　d？cor。　And　while　it　may　look　it　fantastic　for　five　minutes；　
it？s　so　impractical？hello；　drunk　people；　colorful　drinks；　and　white　sofas？　Can　anyone　else　put　two　
and　two　together？　Personally；　I？m　up　for　anything　colorful；　particularly　in　summer。　To　prove　my　
point；　a　few　of　my　favorite　（colorful）　things：　sunset…pink　Cosmos；　blue…green　ocean　water；　mint　
chocolate…chip　ice　cream；　and　last　but　not　least　。　。　。　tan　boys　in　pastel　shirts。　Talk　about　a　color　
bination！

　your　e…mail　
Q：？　
Dear　the　Gossip　Girl；　
？　
I　am　beautiful　brunette　from　foreign　land　so　maybe　there　is　somethings　I　don？t　understand　about　
America。　I　ask　your　help　to　explain　to　me　this　please：　is　bald　now　beautiful？　Do　American　men　
like　girls　to　look　like　this？　With　shaved　head？　Please　advise。　
？　
？Confused　
A：？　
Dear　C；　
？　
I　think　you？ve　misunderstood。　Bald　is　beautiful　when　we？re　talking　about　a　Brazilian；　but　most　
fellows　I　know　like　something　to　run　their　fingers　through。　It？s　the　rare　woman　indeed　who　can　
pull　off　the　full…on　buzz。　。　。　。　I？ve　seen　it　work　only　once　before。　Good　luck！　
？　


？GG　
Q：？　
Dear　GG；　
？　
I？ve　been　in　Europe　for　the　summer　and　am　worried　about　my　big　brother　back　in　New　York。　He　
hasn？t　replied　to　any　of　my　postcards；　and　when　I　called　home　a　few　minutes　ago；　my　dad　said　he　
was　？on　the　lam　with　a　bottle　of　absinthe。？　Eeek！　Do　you　think　he？s　okay？　
？　
？Worried　Little　Sis　
A：？　
Dear　WLS；　
？　
Not　to　worry！　Your　bro　is　probably　just　out　enjoying　himself　and　trying　new　things。　Trust　me；　
that？s　a　good　thing。　If　you？re　still　concerned　about　his　whereabouts；　send　me　his　pic。　。　。　。　If　he？s　
cute；　I？ll　track　him　down　for　you！　
？　
？GG　

sightings　

N；　making　his　first　beach　appearance　of　the　season　with　a　friend　I　hardly　recognized？what？s　
up；A　；　you　been　working　out？　Great　results！　I？ve　got　the　camera…phone　pics　to　prove　it。　Yum。　Two　
ladies　matching　the　descriptions　ofB　andS　were　spotted　chewing　gum　behind　a　gas　station　on　
Main　Street；　late　at　night；　but　let？s　take　that　one　with　a　grain　of　salt；　because　another　report　also　
hadB　andS　buying　depilatories　at　Long？s；　and　something　tells　me　those　girls　would　never　attempt　
a　home　job；　even　in　an　emergency。　I　mean；　there　are　experts　for　that　sort　of　thing；　and　yes；　they　
make　house　calls！V　pedaling　around　East　Hampton　on　a　child？s　bike　with　training　wheels。　Maybe　
she？s　making　some　kind　of　environmental　point？　Good　for　her。D　？s　being　a　good　environmentalist　
himself；　if　that　was　indeed　him　passed　out　on　the　2　train　instead　of　cabbing　it。　BTW；K　andI　：　if　
you？re　going　to　try　to　crash　an　all…boy　party；　it　helps　immensely　if　you？ve　got　a　shaved　head　and　
boring　unisex　outfit。　More　than　a　few　of　our　readers　spotted　you　slinking　home　in　your　Puccis　
after　you　were　rejected　at　the　gate。　Sorry；　girls！　

That？s　enough　for　now。　I？m　going　to　go　get　to　know　a　new　friend　of　mine？he？s　a　lifeguard　and　
only　speaks　Dutch？and　you？ve　got　work　to　do；　anyway：　get　out　there　and　create　some　more　dirt　
for　me　to　dish。　You　know　how　much　I　love　you　for　it。　And　of　course　。　。　。　

You　know　you　love　me。　
gossip　girl　


　before　sunrise　

？Turn　it　up！？　Nate　cupped　the　flame　of　Serena？s　dainty　silver　lighter；　trying　to　light　a　cigarette　as　
Serena　navigated　the　convertible　roadster　along　the　deserted　Long　Island　Expressway。　

Best　way　to　beat　the　summer　traffic？　Set　out　in　the　middle　of　the　night。　

His　cigarette　lit；　Nate　tossed　the　lighter　back　onto　the　empty　passenger　seat　in　front　of　him。　
Serena　reached　over　and　cranked　up　the　volume　as　high　as　it　would　go；　but　even　that　loud；　Bob　
Dylan？s　distinctive　warble　was　barely　audible　over　the　whoosh　of　wind。　

？I？m　cold。　Can？t　we　put　the　top　up？？　Blair　wrapped　her　arms　around　herself　and　frowned。　

？I　don？t　know　how　it　works；？　Nate　admitted。　？But　I　can　help　keep　you　warm　if　you　like。？　He　
draped　his　left　arm　around　her　shoulder　protectively。　

Just　like　old　times。　

Blair　leaned　into　the　front　of　the　car　and　grabbed　the　cardigan　Serena　had　abandoned　there。　？And　
I？mtired。　Whose　bright　idea　was　it　to　stop　for　dinner？？　She　pulled　the　sweater　on　and　leaned　back　
into　the　caramel　leather　uphol…stery。　

It　had　been　Blair？s　suggestion；　actually；　that　they　get　dinner。　She？d　wanted　to　stop　at　a　diner　in　
Merritt？she　and　her　dad　had　always　stopped　there　on　their　family　trips　to　Southampton　when　she　
was　a　kid？but　they？d　gotten　lost；　and　it　had　taken　an　hour　and　a　half　just　to　find　it。　Nate　decided　
not　to　remind　her　of　this。　

？Maybe　you　should　take　a　little　nap；？　he　suggested。　

？We？ll　be　there　soon；？　Serena　chimed　in　from　the　front　seat。　？I　can　almost　smell　the　city。？　

Nate　sniffed　at　the　cool；　damp　air。　He　couldn？t　smell　anything　but　the　gritty　burn　of　his　cigarette　
and　the　honey…almond　aroma　of　Blair？s　hair。　He　couldn？t　see　much；　either；　just　the　vague　outlines　
of　the　car　and　his　friends；　and　the　dark　void　of　that　along…the…highway　wilderness；　which　was　
barely　illuminated　by　the　thin　sliver　of　summer　moon。　After　a　couple　of　other　pit　stops？to　fill　up　
the　tank；　to　take　dorky　pictures　of　the　three　of　them　making　faces　in　front　of　different　scenic　spots；　
to　stock　up　on　cigarettes　and　Diet　Coke　and　junk　food？they？d　managed　to　waste　most　of　the　night。　
It　seemed　almost　impossible　that　in　a　few　hours　Nate　was　supposed　to　climb　back　on　that　shitty　
bicycle　and　show　up　at　Coach　Michaels？s　house　for　another　day　of　hard　labor　and　sexual　
harassment。　

Guess　he？ll　be　calling　in　sick。　Again。　

？So　what？s　our　plan；　anyway？？　Serena　glanced　over　her　shoulder　and　into　the　backseat。　？Where　


exactly　am　I　driving　us？？　

？Let？s　go　to　the　Ritz。？　Blair　hopped　up　and　down　in　her　seat　like　a　little　kid　who　had　to　
pee。　？Let？s　get　a　suite　and　order　room　service　and　sleep　all　day　tomorrow。？　

？How　about　we　go　right　to　the　Three　Guys　coffee　shop　and　we　pig　out　on　pancakes？？　Serena　
suggested。　

Nate　weighed　the　options：　a　hotel　room　shared　with　Blair　and　Serena　or　a　greasy　early　morning　
breakfast。　

　Decisions；　decisions。　

But　Nate　had　his　own　plan。　He？d　been　going　over　it　in　his　head　for　a　couple　of　days　now；　ever　
since　Anthony　told　him　to　seize　the　day。　And　know　he　knew　what　he　wanted：　an　impromptu　
summer　cruise　on　his　dad？s　boat。　He　could　just　picture　it。　He？d　navigate　them　out　of　the　New　
York　harbor；　the　sun　rising　over　the　East　River。　They？d　head　north；　toward　the　Cape；　and　
eventually　toward　his　parents？　place　in　Mt。　Desert　Island；　Maine。　They？d　spend　the　rest　of　the　
summer　lounging　around　on　the　sun…drenched　deck　in　their　underwear。　They？d　dive　overboard　and　
splash　around　in　the　cool　water　like　kids。They？d　pull　into　small　towns　so　he　could　stock　up　on　
cigarettes　and　beer　and　Blair　could　buy　magazines　and　whatever　else　she　needed。　Then；　when　
they？d　worked　up　an　appetite　from　fishing　or　swimming　or　making　love；　he　and　Blair　would　raid　
the　fully　stocked　kitchen；　eating　artichoke　hearts　directly　out　of　the　jar　with　their　fingers。　

Forgetting　about　someone？　

That　was　the　summer　he　was　supposed　to　be　having；　and　at　last；　he　was　seizing　the　day。　The　only　
problem　was；　well　。　。　。　Serena。　Never　mind　that　he　and　Blair　weren？t　quite　a　couple　again。　They？d　
had　ups　and　downs　for　as　long　as　they？d　known　each　other；　but　they　always　came　back　to　the　
same　point：　they　were　supposed　to　be　together。　And　that　point　was　ing　again。　That　point　was　
on　theCharlotte　。Nate　closed　his　eyes；　trying　desperately　to　think　of　a　guy　they　could　bring　along　
on　their　grand　voyage　to　keep　Serena　occupied　while　he　worked　on　winning　back　Blair。　Jeremy？　
Anthony？　Nah；　she　was　out　of　their　league。　

He　flicked　his　cigarette　out　of　the　car　and　cleared　his　throat。　？I？ve　got　it；？　he　announced。　？Let？s　
get　theCharlotte。　Then　we？ll　just；　like；　sail　away。？　

？Awesome！？　Serena　took　both　hands　off　the　wheel　and　clapped　them　together。　？Natie；　you？re　a　
genius！？　

？I　don？t　know。？　Blair　sat　up。　？I　kind　of　just　feel　like　taking　a　shower　and　going　to　bed。？　

Blair　fidgeted　in　her　seat；　her　knee　brushing　against　Nate？s。　Was　she　doing　that　on　purpose？　It　
sent　a　palpable　surge　of　electricity　through　his　body。　He　felt　more　clear…headed　and　aware　than　he　


had　in　months。　It　was　like　everything　that　had　happened　to　him　lately？getting　in　trouble　and　
almost　not　graduating；　getting　shipped　off　to　slave　labor　in　the　Hamptons；　having　that　weird　
short…lived　romance　with　Tawny？had　been　leading　him　right　here；　to　this　moment。　Never　mind　
that　he　was　going　to　bail　on　work　in　a　matter　of　hours；　never　mind　that　he　had　stolen　his　father？s　
prized　possession；　never　mind　that　he　might　not　get　his　diploma？he　was　with　Blair；　and　when　they　
were　together　it　was　like　everything　else　in　the　world　was　just　。　。　。right。　

？There？s　a　shower　on　board；？　Serena　reminded　Blair；　picking　up　her　vibrating　and　blinking　
Nokia　from　her　lap。　？Don？t　be　a　baby；？　she　called　over　her　shoulder。　？Hello？？　she　answered　her　
cell　phone。　Who　the　hell　was　calling　at　four　in　the　morning？　

？Hey　Serena。　How　are　you？　It？s　Jason。　You　know；　your　downstairs　neighbor　at　the　town　house　
on　Seventy…first　Street？？　

Serena　smiled　quietly　at　the　road。　Blair　was　so　not　expecting　this　call。　

？Hey！？　She　responded　in　her　friendliest；　most　upbeat　voice。　Jason　was　cute　but　totally　forgettable。　
After　theBreakfast　at　Fred？s　wrap　party；　that？s　exactly　what　both　girls　had　done？forgotten　about　
him。　But　Serena　wasn？t　the　girl　Jason　had　had　the　hots　for；　anyway。　？I　guess　you　want　to　talk　to　
Blair。？　She　shifted　into　fourth　gear　around　a　tight　curve　in　the　road。　

？Kind　of；？　Jason　admitted。　

？Hold　on。？　Serena　tossed　her　phone　behind　her；　accidentally　hitting　Blair　in　the　nose。　

Blair　had　been