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酔楯荷恬: 梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ○ 賜 ★ 辛酔堀貧和鍬匈 梓囚徒貧議 Enter 囚辛指欺云慕朕村匈 梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ● 辛指欺云匈競何! 泌惚云慕短嗤堋響頼���誅卒亮茂�俊彭堋響��辛聞喘貧圭 "辺茄欺厘議箝誓匂" 孔嬬 才 "紗秘慕禰" 孔嬬��
cold outsi´ye´yide�察�I've got the month of May。 I guess
you'd say�察�what can make me feel this way�拭�My girls。 Talkin' 'bout my little gir´ur´rls ´ ̄
She looks inside the coop and coos�察 �Hello�察�Flo� �Good
afternoon�察�Bonnie� �e on out�察�punkin� 院 �
The coop wasn't big enough for her to walk in。 It was more like a mini lean´to shack that even
her dog would have trouble crawling in。 Does that
stop Juli Baker�拭�No。 She gets down on her hands and knees and dives right in。 Chickens
e squawking and flapping out�察�and pretty soon the
yard's full of birds�察�and all we can see of Juli is her poop´covered shoes。
That's not all we can hear�察�though。 She's warbling inside that coop�察�going�察 �I don't need
money�察�no fortune or faaa´ya´yame。 I got all the riches�察 �
baby�察�anyone can claim。 Well�察�I guess you'd say�察�what can make me feel this way�拭�My
girls。 Talkin' 'bout my little gir´ur´rls�察�my girls´ ̄
At this point I wasn't checking the chickens out for rubbery red stuff or feathers。 I was looking
at the bottom of Juli Baker's feet�察�wondering how in
the world a person could be so happy tunneling through a dilapidated chicken coop with
poop stuck all over her shoes。
Garrett got me back on track。 ^They're all chickens�察院�he says。 ^Look at 'em。 ̄
I quit checking out Juli's shoes and started checking out birds。 The first thing I did was count
them。 One´two´three´four´five´six。 All accounted for。
After all�察�how could anyone forget she'd hatched six�拭�It was the all´time school record !
everyone in the county had heard about that。
But I was not really sure how to ask Garrett about what he had said。 Yeah�察�they were all
chickens�察�but what did that mean�拭�I sure didn't want him
ing down on me again�察�but it still didn't make sense。 Finally I asked him�察 �You mean
there's no rooster�拭院 �
^Correctomundo。 ̄
^How can you tell�拭院 �
He shrugged。 ^Roosters strut。 ̄
^Strut。 ̄
^That's right。 And look ! none of them have long feathers。 Or very much of that rubbery red
stuff。 ̄ He nodded。 ^Yeah。 They're definitely all
chickens。 ̄
That night my father got right to the point。 ^So�察�son�察�mission acplished�拭院�he asked as he
stabbed into a mountain of fettuccine and whirled his
fork around。
I attacked my noodles too and gave him a smile。 ^Uhhuh�察院�I said as I sat up tall to deliver the
news。 ^They're all chickens。 ̄
The turning of his fork came to a grinding halt。 ^And´�拭院 �
I could tell something was wrong�察�but I didn't know what。 I tried to keep the smile plastered
on my face as I said�察 �And what�拭院 �
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He rested his fork and stared at me。 ^Is that what she said�拭 �They're all chickens¨�拭院 �
^Uh�察�not exactly。 ̄
^Then exactly what did she say�拭院 �
^Uh ´ she didn't exactly say anything。 ̄
^Meaning�拭院 �
^Meaning I went over there and took a look for myself。 ̄ I tried very hard to sound like this was
a major acplishment�察�but he wasn't buying。
^You didn't ask her�拭院 �
^I didn't have to。 Garrett knows a lot about chickens�察�and we went over there and found out
for ourselves。 ̄
Lyta came back from rinsing the Romano sauce off her seven and a half noodles�察�then
reached for the salt and scowled at me�察�saying�察 �You're
the chicken。 ̄
^Lyta� 院�my mother said。 ^Be nice。 ̄
Lyta stopped shaking the salt。 ^Mother�察�he spied。 You get it�拭�He went over there and
looked over the fence。 Are you saying you're okay with
that�拭院 �
My mom turned to me。 ^Bryce�拭�Is that true�拭院 �
Everyone was staring at me now�察�and I felt like I had to save face。 ^What's the big deal�拭�You
told me to find out about her chickens�察�and I found
out about her chickens� 院 �
^Brawk´brawk´brawk� 院�my sister whispered。
My father still wasn't eating。 ^And what you found out�察院�he said�察�like he was measuring every
word�察 �was that they're all´ chickens。 ̄
^Right。 ̄
He sighed�察�then took that bite of noodles and chewed it for the longest time。
It felt like I was sinking fast�察�but I couldn't figure out why。 So I tried to bail out with�察 �And you
guys can go ahead and eat those eggs�察�but there's no
way I'm going to touch them�察�so don't even ask。 ̄
My mother's looking back and forth from my dad to me while she eats her salad�察�and I can
tell she's waiting for him to address my adventure as a
neighborhood operative。 But since he's not saying anything�察�she clears her throat and says�察 �
^Why's that�拭院 �
^Because there's ´ well�察�there's ´I don't know how to say this nicely。 ̄
^Just say it�察院�my father snaps。
^Well�察�there's�察�you know�察�excrement everywhere。 ̄
^Oh�察�gross� 院�my sister says�察�throwing down her fork。
^You mean chicken droppings�拭院�my mother asks。
^Yeah。 There's not even a lawn。 It's all dirt and�察�uh�察�you know�察�chicken turds。 The chickens
walk in it and peck through it and´ ̄
^Oh�察�gross� 院�Lyta wails。
^Well�察�it's true� 院 �
Lyta stands up and says�察 �You expect me to eat after this�拭院�and stalks out of the room。
^Lyta� �You have to eat something�察院�my mother calls after her。
^No�察�I don't� 院�she shouts back�察�then a second later she sticks her head back into the dining
room and says�察 �And don't expect me to eat any of
those eggs either�察�Mother。 Does the word salmonella mean anything to you�拭院 �
Lyta takes off down the hall and my mother says�察 �Salmonella�拭院�She turns to my father。
^Do you suppose they could have salmonella�拭院 �
^I don't know�察�Patsy。 I'm more concerned that our son is a coward。 ̄
^A coward� �Rick�察�please。 Bryce is no such thing。 He's a wonderful child who's !  ̄
^Who's afraid of a girl。 ̄
^Dad�察�I'm not afraid of her�察�she just bugs me� 院 �
^Why�拭院 �
^You know why� �She bugs you�察�too。 She's over the top about everything� 院 �
´´´ Page 27´´´
^Bryce�察�I asked you to conquer your fear�察�but all you did was give in to it。 If you were in love
with her�察�that would be one thing。 Love is something to
be afraid of�察�but this�察�this is embarrassing。 So she talks too much�察�so she's too enthused
about every little thing�察�so what�拭�Get in�察�get your question
answered�察�and get out。 Stand up to her�察�for cryin' out loud� 院 �
^Rick ´�察院�my mom was saying�察 �Rick�察�calm down。 He did find out what you asked him to !  ̄
^No�察�he didn't� 院 �
^What do you mean�拭院 �
^He tells me they're all chickens� �Of course they're all chickens� �The question is how many
are hens�察�and how many are roosters。 ̄
I could almost hear the click in my brain�察�and man�察�I felt like a plete doofus。 No wonder
he was disgusted with me。 I was an idiot� �They were
all chickens ´ du´uh� �Garrett acted like he was some expert on chickens�察�and he didn't know
diddly´squat� �Why had I listened to him�拭 �
But it was too late。 My dad was convinced I was a coward�察�and to get me over it�察�he decided
that what I should do was take the carton of eggs
back to the Bakers and tell them we didn't eat eggs�察�or that we were allergic to them�察�or
something。
Then my mom butts in with�察 �What are you teaching him here�察�Rick�拭�None of that is true。 If
he returns them�察�shouldn't he tell them the truth�拭院 �
^What�察�that you're afraid of salmonella poisoning�拭院 �
^Me�拭�Aren't you a little concerned�察�too�拭院 �
^Patsy�察�that's not the point。 The point is�察�I will not have a coward for a son� 院 �
^But teaching him to lie�拭院 �
^Fine。 Then just throw them away。 But from now on I expect you to look that little tiger square
in the eye�察�you hear me�拭院 �
^Yes�察�sir。 ̄
^Okay�察�then。 ̄
I was off the hook for all of about eight days。 Then there she was again�察�at seven in the
morning�察�bouncing up and down on our porch with eggs in
her hands。 ^Hi�察�Bryce� �Here you go。 ̄
I tried to look her square in the eye and tell her�察�No thanks�察�but she was so darned happy�察 �
and I wasn't really awake enough to tackle the tiger。
She wound up pushing another carton into my hands�察�and I wound up ditching them in the
kitchen trash before my father sat down to breakfast。
This went on for two years。 Two years� �And it got to a point where it was just part of my
morning routine。 I'd be on the lookout for Juli so I could
whip the door open before she had the chance to knock or ring the bell�察�and then I'd bury the
eggs in the trash before my dad showed up。
Then came the day I blew it。 Juli'd actually been making herself pretty scarce because it was
around the time they'd taken the sycamore tree
down�察�but suddenly one morning she was back on our doorstep�察�delivering eggs。 I took them�察 �
as usual�察�and I went to chuck them�察�as usual。 But the
kitchen trash was so full that there wasn't any room for the carton�察�so I put it on top�察�picked
up the trash�察�and beat it out the front door to empty
everything into the garbage can outside。
Well�察�guess who's just standing there like a statue on my porch�拭 �
The Egg Chick。
I about spilled the trash all over the porch。 ^What are you still doing here�拭院�I asked her。
^I´I don't know。 I was just ´ thinking。 ̄
^About what�拭院�I was desperate。 I needed a distraction。 Some way around her with this
garbage before she noticed what was sitting right there on
top。She looked away like she was embarrassed。 Juli Baker embarrassed�拭�I didn't think it was
possible。
´´´ Page 28´´´
Whatever。 The golden opportunity to whip a soggy magazine over the egg carton had
presented itself�察�and buddy�察�I took it。 Then I tried to make a
fast break for the garbage can in the side yard�察�only she body´blocked me。 Seriously。 She
stepped right in my way and put her arms out like she's
guarding the goal。
She chased me and blocked me again。 ^What happened�拭院�she wants to know。 ^Did they
break�拭院 �
Perfect。 Why hadn't I thought of that�拭 �Yeah�察�Juli�察院�I told her。 ^And I'm real sorry about that。 ̄
But what I'm thinking is�察�Please�察�God�察�oh please�察�God�察 �
let me make it to the garbage can。
God must've been sleeping in。 Juli tackled the trash and pulled out her precious little carton
of eggs�察�and she could tell right off that they weren't
broken。 They weren't even cracked。
She stood frozen with the eggs in her hands while I dumped the rest of the trash。 ^Why did
you throw them out�拭院�she asked�察�but her voice didn't
sound like Juli Baker's voice。 It was quiet。 And shaky。
So I told her we were afraid of salmonella poisoning because her yard was a mess and that
we were just trying to spare her feelings。 I told it to
her like we were right and she was wrong�察�but I felt like a jerk。 A plete cluck´faced jerk。
Then she tells me that a couple of neighbors have been buying eggs off her。 Buying them。
And while I'm ing to grips with this incredible bit of
news�察�she whips out her mental calculator。 ^Do you realize I've lost over a hundred dollars
giving these eggs to you�拭院�Then she races across the
street in a flood of tears。
As much as I tried to tell myself that I hadn't asked her for the eggs!I hadn't said we wanted
them or needed them or liked them!the fact was�察�I'd
never seen Juli cry before。 Not when she'd broken her arm in P。E。�察�not when she'd been
teased at school or ditched by her brothers。 Not even when
they'd cut down the sycamore tree。 I'm pretty sure she cried then�察�but I didn't actually see it。
To me�察�Juli Baker had always been too tough to cry。
I went down to my room to pack my stuff for school�察�feeling like the biggest jerk to ever hit the
pla。 I'd been sneaking around throwing out eggs
for over two years�察�avoiding her�察�avoiding my father ! what did that make me�拭�Why hadn't I
just stood up and said�察�No thanks�察�don't want 'em�察�don't
need 'em�察�don't like 'em´。 Give them to the snake�察�why don't you�拭�Something� �
Was I really afraid of hurting her feelings�拭 �
Or was I afraid of her�拭 �
The Eggs
After they cut down the sycamore
酔楯荷恬: 梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ○ 賜 ★ 辛酔堀貧和鍬匈 梓囚徒貧議 Enter 囚辛指欺云慕朕村匈 梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ● 辛指欺云匈競何!
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