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Miranda　nodded　blankly；　batting　her　fake　eyelashes。　She　was　from　the　Lower　East　Side。　She？d　
gone　to　a　slutty　Catholic　school。　Her　favorite　food　was　Kraft　mac　&　cheese。　She　clearly　had　no　
idea　what　he　was　talking　about。　

　Did　anyone？　

During　the　third　take；　everything　seemed　to　e　together。　Thaddeus　and　Miranda　sparkled；　
nailing　their　lines　perfectly；　even　throwing　in　some　adlibbed　business　about　that　day？s　specials。　
The　lighting　looked　beautiful　and　natural；　with　no　accidental　glares　or　twinkles；　the　sound　quality　
was　perfect。　And　Serena　arrived　on　time；　didn？t　fumble　a　line　or　any　of　her　blocking；　and　when　
Ken　yelled；　？Cut！？　it　was　because　the　scene　was　in　the　bag。　

？Maybe　this　won？t　be　so　bad　after　all；？　the　director　stage　whispered　to　Vanessa。　？That？s　it　for　
now；　people；？　he　yelled。　？Let？s　take　fifteen。？　

He　turned　back　to　Vanessa　and　said；　in　a　normal　tone　of　voice：　？You？re　up；　kid。　Let？s　see　what　
you　got。？　

No　problem；Vanessa　thought。　Things　might　be　all　fucked　up　with　everything　else？like　whatever　
the　hell　was　going　on　with　Dan？but　she　knew　what　to　do　with　a　camera。　

Ken　Mogul　dragged　his　canvas　director？s　chair　over　to　the　playback　monitor；　where　he？d　be　able　
to　screen　the　footage　Vanessa　had　just　shot。　Vanessa？s　assistant　camera　guy　rolled　the　footage　and　
Vanessa　joined　the　director；　watching　over　his　shoulder。　


The　first　time　they？d　run　the　scene；　Vanessa　had　used　a　straightforward　angle；　moving　the　camera　
in　and　then　out　to　capture　the　nuances　in　the　performances；　but　all　in　all　keeping　a　fairly　traditional　
distance　from　the　actors。　It　looked　wooden　and　stiff　to　her；　it　was　clean　and　tidy　but　unimaginative。　
The　second　time　they？d　rolled；　she？d　tried　something　radically　different；　zooming　in　to　focus　first　
on　Thaddeus？s　lips　and　then　panning　up　to　examine　his　eyelashes。　She？d　used　this　strategy　with　
his　costar；　too；　to　get　a　rapid…fire；　music　video　effect　that　was　really　impressionistic。　It　was　more　
challenging　than　what　you　usually　saw　in　a　movie；　but　it　was　also　better。　On　the　third　take　she？d　
gone　even　further；　letting　the　camera？s　gaze　linger　on　the　ice　dancing　in　the　glass　of　water　on　the　
table。　She　thought　it　was　a　fitting　way　to　symbolize　the　characters？　plex　relationships　with　
each　other。　It　was　some　of　her　best　work。　

？What　the　fuck　is　this？？　asked　Ken　Mogul　calmly。　

Vanessa　looked　at　him。　She　couldn？t　quite　read　the　tone　of　his　voice。　

？I　asked　you　a　question；？　Ken　repeated；　spinning　around　to　face　her。　？What　the　fuck　was　that；　
Vanessa？　What　the　fuck　wasthat　？？　

？That　was　my　camera　work；？　Vanessa　replied；　proudly；　but　her　voice　was　shaking　a　bit。　

？Are　you　fucking　kidding　me？？　Ken　Mogul　screamed。　Nearby　crew　members　backed　into　the　
shadows；　and　Vanessa　could　feel　all　eyes　on　her。　

？Vanessa；　what　is　this　experimental　bullshit？　This　is　not　what　I　hired　you　for。？　

That　wasexactly　what　he？d　hired　her　for！　Those　had　been　hisexact　words；　as　a　matter　of　fact。　
Vanessa　just　stared　at　him；　stunned。　

？That？s　it。　This　is　the　last　thing　I　need。　I？ve　got　an　actress　who　can？t　act；　I？m　chewing　on　
fucking　ballpoint　pens　because　I？m　not　allowed　to　smoke　on　my　own　fucking　set；　and　now　this：　
little　Miss　Indie　Film　is　giving　me　her　bullshit　camera　work。　I　don？t　need　this。　You？re　fired！？　Ken　
turned　away　from　Vanessa　and　settled　back　into　his　chair。　？And　you；？　he　added；　pointing　to　a　
gofer；　？tell　Thad；　Serena；　and　Miranda　to　stay　ready。　Thanks　to　this　bullshit；　we？re　going　to　have　
to　reshoot。？　

Vanessa　opened　her　mouth　to　respond；　but　nothing　came　out。　She　was　angry；　freaking　fucking　
angry；　but　more　than　that；　she　washurt　。　Tears　welled　in　her　eyes　and　her　throat　felt　tight　like　she　
had　to　cough。　She　couldn？t　believe　what　had　happened。　They？d　only　just　started　filming；　and　she　
was　already　fired？　First　Ruby　kicked　her　out；　then　Dan　went　and　started　acting　like　some　sort　of　
Buddhist　asshole；　and　nowthis　？　

？Vanessa；　what？s　the　matter？？　Ken　demanded　roughly。　？You　deaf？　I　said　you？re　fired。　Get　the　
hell　off　my　set。？　


Vanessa　stuffed　her　equipment　into　her　bag　and　stormed　toward　the　escalator。　The　first　movie　she　
made　at　NYU　was　going　to　be　about　a　freak…show　movie　director　who　got　maimed　by　a　pack　of　
rabid　coyotes。　And　then　got　hit　by　a　subway。　

See　how　he　likesthat　camera　work。　

reunited　。　。　。　and　it　feels　so　good　

It　was　eerie；　stepping　out　of　the　elevator　at　Barneys　and　onto　the　quiet；　dark　ninth　floor。　It　was　
like　one　of　those　super…lifelike　moments　in　a　really　vivid　bad　dream；　when　you　end　up　somewhere　
familiar；　but　it？s　all　horribly　wrong。　But　this　was　no　nightmare：　it　was　the　opposite；　really？a　dream　
e　true。　

Just　twenty　minutes　before；　Blair　had　been　innocently　taking　？tea？　with　Bailey　Winter　and　her　
mother；　but　she？d　been　dispatched　to　Barneys　before　she　could　drain　her　first　martini。　

？Fashion　doesn？t　wait！？　Bailey　screamed　in　his　girlish　tenor。　？Go。　Go！？　

Guess　she　got　the　job。　

He　wanted　Blair　to　dash　to　Barneys　and　consult　with　theBreakfast　at　Fred？s　on…set　costumer；　to　
get　the　final　measurements　for　the　principal　cast。　The　seamstresses　in　his　atelier　needed　them　in　
order　to　get　the　costumes　for　the　climactic　party　scene　ready　in　time。　So　far　this　job　had　all　the　
makings　of　a　Blair　Waldorf　fantasy：　fashion；　glamour；　a　bit　of　drama。　The　only　downside　was　
Jasmine。　

Oh；　right。Her　。　

Bailey　Winter　had　mistaken　Tyler？s　girlfriend　for　Blair？sfriend　and　insisted　on　hiring　themboth　
to　be　his　eyes　and　ears　on　the　set。　But　Blair　was　not　going　to　let　the　presence　of　her　young　imitator　
ruin　her　victory。　In　fact；　she　was　going　to　use　it　to　her　advantage。　Clearly；　she　could　get　Jasmine　to　
do　her　bidding。　

She　started　in　the　taxi；　instructing　Jasmine　on　how　to　behave　when　they　got　to　the　set。　？Let　me　do　
the　talking。　The　talent　won？t　like　it　if　you　pipe　in；？　Blair　directed　like　an　old　pro。　She？d　traded　her　
easily　acquired　English　accent　for　Hollywood　lingo　without　missing　a　beat。　

Jasmine　followed　behind　Blair　like　an　adoring　puppy；　out　of　the　elevator　and　down　the　black　
marble　ninth…floor　hallway　toward　Fred？s。　They　were　marching　with　such　purpose　they　couldn？t　
help　but　collide　with　the　black…clad；　tear…smeared　bald　figure　who　appeared　out　of　nowhere；　
running　at　full　clip。　Vanessa　knocked　into　Blair；　who　knocked　into　Jasmine；　who　was　so　close　on　


Blair？s　heels　she　fell　to　the　ground　with　a　little　yelp；　her　BCBG　sandals　skittering　across　the　
marble　floor　without　her。　

？Damn　it！？　Blair　swore　before　recognizing　her　old　roommate。　

？Jesus。　Fuck。　I？m　sorry；？　Vanessa　managed。　Her　cheeks；　even　her　scalp；　were　blotchy　and　there　
were　tears　dripping　off　her　chin。　

？Are　you　okay？　You？re　all　。　。　。　red；？　Blair　observed　lamely。　Vanessa　was　clearly　upset；　but　Blair　
was　supposed　to　be　inside　measuring　Thaddeus　Smith？s　inseam！　

And　we　all　know　where　the　inseam　leads。。。。　

？I？m　okay；　I？m　okay；？　muttered　Jasmine　as　she　pulled　her…self　back　up　to　her　feet；　even　though　
no　one　had　been　talking　to　her。　

？Jasmine；　Vanessa。？　Blair　introduced　the　two。　Then　she　wrapped　her　arms　around　Vanessa　and　
air…kissed　her　on　each　cheek。　？But　really；　what？s　wrong？？　

Vanessa　just　sniffled　in　response。　She　was　so　upset　she　didn？t　trust　her　voice。　What　was　she　
supposed　to　do　now？　Where　was　she　supposed　to　go？　

？Okay；　Jasmine；？　Blair　barked；　relishing　her　role　as　boss。　？Stay　here　and　make　sure　Vanessa？s　
okay。　I？ve　got　to　get　moving。　Bailey？s　orders！？　She　squeezed　Vanessa？s　shoulder　in　a　show　of　
support　and　smiled　weakly。　？You　know　I　love　you！？　she　cried；　then　dashed　down　the　hall　and　
through　the　swinging　doors　of　Fred？s。　

？Excuse　me；？　Blair　said　loudly　to　no　one　in　particular　as　soon　as　she　stepped　inside。　？My　name　is　
Blair　Waldorf。　I　work　with　Bailey　Winter。　I　need　to　speak　to　someone　in　charge　here。？　

No　one　moved；　and　no　one　responded。　Then　Blair　felt　a　tap　on　her　shoulder　and　heard　a　familiar　
voice。　

？I　think　I　can　help　you；？　offered　Serena。　

？Hey。？　Blair　turned　to　see　the　grinning　face　of　her　best　friend。　Or　were　they　not　friends　now？　
They？d　had　so　many　ups　and　downs　it　was　honestly　sometimes　hard　for　Blair　to　remember　if　she　
liked　Serena　again　or　if　they　weren？t　speaking　to　each　other。　

？You？re　back！？　Serena　squealed。　She　grabbed　Blair　and　hugged　her　tightly。　

Looks　like　friends　forever。　

？I？m　back；？　Blair　echoed；　enviously　assessing　Serena？s　ebony　chiffon　Bailey　Winter　dress。　


？Tell　me　everything；？　Serena　insisted；　pulling　away　from　Blair　and　inspecting　her　closely。　？Since　
when　are　you　working　for　Bailey　Winter？　I　thought　you　were　in　London！？　

？I　got　a　job；？　Blair　explained　matter…of…factly。　？It　just　seemed　like　the　responsible　thing　to　do；　
you　know。　I　thought　it　would　be　good　to　have　some　career　experience　under　my　belt。？　

？That？s　great！？　Serena　practically　screamed。　

？I？ve　been　thinking　about　a　career　in　fashion；？　she　added　casually。　The　hundred…odd…person　crew　
ofBreakfast　at　Fred？s　gaped　at　her；　just　waiting　for　Ken　Mogul　to　verbally　chop　off　her　head。　Blair　
went　on　in　an　oblivious　loud　voice；　eating　up　the　attention。　？Everyone　has　a　calling；　and　I　think　
fashion　is　mine。？　

？What　about　London？　What　about　Lord　Whatsisname？？　Serena　demanded。　Were　the　rumors　
about　his　English　fianc？e　actually　true？　She　didn？t　usually　listen　to　gossip；　but　there　had　to　be　a　
reason　for　Blair　to　give　up　a　royal　romance　in　London　to　e　home　and　take　a　summer　job。　

？It？s　a　long　story。？　Blair　sighed　dramatically。　She　was　a　working　woman　with　a　past。　Now　if　
Serena　would　just　loan　her　that　dress　。　。　。　

？Tell　it　to　me　tonight；？　Serena　whispered　excitedly。　？Ken？s　putting　me　up　in　my　own　apartment。　
You　should　totally　e　over。　Shit；　screw　that？move　in　with　me！？　

？Well　。　。　。？　Blair　hesitated。　She？d　moved　around　a　lot　lately：　the　Plaza　Hotel；　Williamsburg；　the　
Yale　Club；　London。　And　wasn？t　she　supposed　to　be　home；　close　to　her　baby　sister？　

？Did　I　mention　that　I？m　now　living　on　East　Seventy…first　Street？？　Serena　knew　full　well　that　
Blair　Waldorf　of　all　people　would　recognize　that　address。　

Move　into　the　apartment　fromBreakfast　at　Tiffany？s　！　

？I　just　need　to　pack　my　bags；？　Blair　responded　stoically；　as　if　she　could　hide　the　fact　that　she　was　
practically　peeing　in　her　pants　with　excitement。　？I？ll　be　there　tonight。？　

She　threw　her　arms　around　Serena　in　a　fit　of　impetuous　enthusiasm。　Everything　always　had　a　
way　of　turning　out　just　right；　especially　when　Serena　was　involved。　This　time　they　really　would　
stay　friends　forever。　

If　you　can　call　the　next　few　days　forever！　


karma　chameleon　

Dan　Humphrey　slipped　into　the　disgusting　employees…only　restroom　in　a　dank　corner　of　the　
basement　of　the　Strand　clutching　a　tiny　black　tote　bag　emblazoned　with　the　logo　of　the　literary　
magazineRed　Herring　。　Double…checking　that　the　door　was　locked　tight；　he　pulled　his　threadbare　
Bauhaus　T…shirt　over　his　head　and　unbuttoned　his　fine…wale　Levi？s　cords；　dropping　them　to　the　
floor。　He　paid　no　attention　to　the　literary　graffiti　a　generation　of　disaffected　Strand　employees　had　
scrawled　all　over　the　walls？legend　had　it　that　some　bitter　former　clerk　had　jotted　down　the　actual　
New　Hampshire　home　telephone　number　of　the　famously　reclusive　J。　D。　Salinger。　He　had　only　ten　
minutes　to　meet　Bree　in　Union　Square　and　he　had　to　get　out　of　his　everyday　clothes？which　reeked　
of　smoke？and　into　something　cleaner　and　more　exercise…friendly。　

So　he　wasn？t　the　most　athletic　guy　in　the　world。　His　relationship　or　connection　or　whatever　with　
Bree　was　based　on　more　than　Lycra　clothing　and　naked　yoga　sessions。　Bree　had　opened　Dan？s　
eyes；　helped　him　think　about　the　world　in　a　way　he　never　had　before。　Bending　and　posing　in　a　hot　
room　with　a　sweaty　naked　guy　leaning　into　him　wasn？t　Dan？s　idea　of　a　romantic　evening；　but　
reading　Bree？s　favorite　books　was　stimulating　and　thought…provoking。　He？d　done　so　much　in　his　
life　already？had　a　poem　published　in　theNew　Yorker　；　interned　atRed　Herring　；　sung　his　original　
songs　with　the　Raves？but　it　was　kind　of　thrilling　to　discover　something　deeper　and　more　
meaningful　than　fleeting　fame。　

Finding　enlightenment　in　less　than　a　week？it　must　be　some　kind　of　world　record。　

H