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her　new　D&G　coral　ballet　flats　as　cabs　rushed　by　in　the　street。　As　she　turned　away　from　the　park；　
she　remembered　how　when　she　and　Nate　first　got　together；　they？d　meet　in　Sheep　Meadow　after　
school　and　make　out　for　hours；　lying　in　the　grass。　Maybe　she？d　yank　him　away　from　whatever　the　


hell　he　was　doing　and　they　could　go　over　to　Sheep　Meadow　and　repeat　history。　

Then；　just　as　Blair　began　crossing　the　street　to　Nate？s　town　house；　avery　familiar…looking　blond　
in　worn　True　

Religion　jeans　and　a　black　Tory　Burch　logo　tank　rounded　the　corner。　With　her　huge　black　Chanel　
sunglasses　covering　half　her　face；　Serena　looked　like　she　was　dressed　for　a　stealth　mission。　And　as　
she　pushed　open　the　heavy　door　to　Nate？s　town　house；　Blair　swore　Serena　looked　just　the　tiniest　
bit　guilty。　

Blair　stopped　in　the　middle　of　the　street；　not　even　caring　if　a　taxi　rammed　into　her。　She　felt　like　
she？d　been　punched　in　the　chest。　All　the　air　rushed　out　of　her　lungs。　What　was　Serena　doing　
atNate？s　？　And　why　was　Nate　lying　to　her？　Why　wouldn？t　he　rather　see　his　own　girlfriend　than　
that　two…faced　fake；　Serena？　

　Good　question。　

Queasiness　overcame　her。　In　fact；　she　thought　she　might　be　sick　right　there　on　the　pavement。　She　
took　a　few　steps　back　until　she　found　a　fire　hydrant　to　steady　herself　on。　She？d　kill　them　both；　
except　then　they？d　be　together　in　the　afterlife　and　that　would　killher　。　

A　bus　drove　by；　burping　clouds　of　stinky　black　exhaust　in　her　face。　Blair　began　coughing　
furiously；　and　through　the　hot　tears　in　her　eyes；　she　saw　Serena？s　gorgeous；　airbrushed　face　in　
front　of　her；　larger　than　life；　staring　out　from　the　side　of　the　bus；　the　words　BREAKFAST　AT　
FRED？S　in　pink　rolling　script　above　her　gleaming　blond　head；　and　below；　in　hot…pink　letters　
TRUE　LOVE　NEVER　LIES。　

Apparently；　that　depends　on　your　definition　of　true　love。　

smile！　things　can　only　get　worse　

　？Surprise！？　

Dan　walked　into　the　Humphreys？　apartment　after　a　long　day　of　stacking　musty　books　at　the　
Strand　and　blinked　in　shock　as　the　lights　snapped　on。　Multicolored　balloons　hung　from　the　ceiling；　
and　rainbow　crepe…paper　ribbons　twirled　from　one　end　of　the　room　to　the　other。　Rainbow　flags　
hung　from　the　doorway；　waving　in　the　early　evening　breeze　that　wafted　through　the　open　windows。　
What　the　hell　was　going　on？　He　smiled　as　he　looked　around　the　room；　crowded　with　so　many　
familiar　faces？his　parents；　Vanessa；　his　dad？s　Beat…poet　friends；　even　the　crazy　old　lady　from　
apartment　5F　who　liked　to　take　her　mangy　cat　for　walks　around　their　crumbling　apartment　
building？s　hallways。　And　wait；　weren？t　those　dorky　guys　in　the　corner　from　his　calc　class　at　


Riverside？　

？Are　you　surprised！？？　His　mother　sang；　pulling　Dan　into　the　room。　She　was　wearing　a　candy　
pink　shirt　that　said　PFLAG　over　a　fuchsia…and…white　batik…print　floor　length　skirt。　Her　electric　
blue　toenails　peeked　out　from　the　straps　of　her　battered　Birkenstocks。　

？What？s　PFLAG？？　Dan　demanded；　staring　at　the　front　of　her　shirt。　？And　what？s　all　this　。　。　。　for？？　
There　were　so　many　rainbows　it　made　him　nervous。　

？PFLAG；　my　darling；　stands　for　？Parents　and　Friends　of　Lesbians　and　Gays？？？　Jeanette　began。　

？And　it？s　a　party？to　celebrate　your　ing　out。？　Vanessa　appeared　at　Jeanette？s　side；　holding　a　
ballpark　frank　festively　slathered　in　mustard　in　one　hand　and　a　small　digital　video　camera　in　the　
other。　She　was　wearing　a　black　tank　top　with　the　words　HE？S　MY　GAY　BOYFRIEND　printed　on　
it　in　hot　pink　lettering。　？Happy　Gay　Day！？　she　called　out　from　behind　the　camera。　

For　a　second；　Dan　couldn？t　help　feeling　a　little　touched　at　how　supportive　she　was　being。　Maybe　
they　could　be　like　Harper　Lee　and　Truman　Capote？he？d　be　the　gay；　brilliant　star　of　the　New　York　
literary　scene；　and　she　could　be　his　grounding；　stabilizing　force　and　literary　muse；　all　rolled　up　
into　one　cute；　bald…headed　package。　Then　he　remembered　where　he　was？apparently　at　his　
ownsurprise　ing…out　party。　He　tried　to　focus。　

？I　thought　I？d　video　your　journey　into　gaydom；？　Vanessa　told　him　with　a　smirk。　？Your　mom　
thought　it　was　anexcellent　idea。？　？e　with　me；　Daniel。？　Jeanette　pulled　him　toward　the　kitchen。　
She　handed　him　a　glass　of　bright　pink　liquid。　？I　know　I？ve　missed　a　lot　of　things　in　the　last　couple　
years。　I　wanted　to　do　something　special　for　you　right　now。？　Couple？　Tryten　。　。　。　

Dan　stopped　walking　and　stared　at　his　mother？s　not…entirely…familiar　face。　The　truth　was；　he？d　
gotten　used　to　her　being　away　a　long　time　ago；　but　he？d　always　felt　especially　bad　for　Jenny；　
growing　up　without　a　mom　and　all。　

？But　really；　teenagers　all　just　hate　their　parents　anyway；　so　I？m　sure　it　wasn？t　much　of　a　problem。？　
Jeanette　sniffed　dramatically。　？And　this　summer；　I　was　really　able　to　reconnect　with　Jennifer　when　
she　was　in　Prague；？　she　went　on；　her　voice　warbling　as　though　she　were　about　to　cry。　？And　then　
when　this　opportunity　to　support　you　came　up？well；　it　just　seemed　like　the　right　time　for　a　visit。？　
Dan　nodded；　not　sure　what　to　say。　It　made　him　happy　that　things　were　right　between　Jenny　and　
their　mother；　but　did　that　really　mean　she　had　to　fly　to　New　York　and　ruin　his　life？　？Well；　um；　
thanks；？　he　finally　stammered。　

？Now！？　Jeanette　blinked　her　eyes　rapidly　and　grabbed　his　hand。　？Your　darling　boyfriend　was　just　
teaching　me　how　to　make　Cosmopolitans！？　Dan　frowned。　Boyfriend？　He　looked　across　the　room　
and　was　shocked　to　see　Greg　at　the　kitchen　counter　wearing　a　pair　of　brown　American　Apparel　
cargo　pants　rolled　just　past　the　knees；　rainbow　suspenders；　and　a　crisp　white　T…shirt；　vigorously　
shaking　a　chrome　cocktail　shaker；　his　glasses　sliding　down　the　bridge　of　his　nose。　Dan　lifted　a　


hand　in　a　tentative　wave；　trying　to　look　cheerful；　and　walked　over　with　his　mother　at　his　heels。　

？Hey！？　Greg　grinned　widely　as　he　approached；　putting　down　the　martini　shaker。　He　opened　his　
arms　to　give　Dan　a　hug；　his　shaggy　blond　hair　falling　into　his　eyes。　？Sorry　I　didn？t　tell　you　I　was　
ing　back？I　wanted　it　to　be　a　surprise；　and　I　wouldn？t　have　missed　this　for　the　world；？　he　
whispered；　his　breath　tickling　Dan？s　neck。　？My　parents　didn？t　do　anythinghalf　this　nice　when　I　
came　out　to　them　last　year。？　He　gave　Dan　an　extra　squeeze　before　releasing　him。　

？Thanks；？　Dan　said；　stepping　back　from　Greg？s　arms。　？It　was；　uh；　sweet　of　you　to　e　back　for　
this。　How　did　my　mom；　um；　find　you？？　He　took　a　nervous　sip　of　his　way…too…sweet　drink。　As　a　
rule；　he　liked　bitter　drinks？truly　lousy　black　coffee　and　vodka　straight　from　the　bottle。　This　punch　
was　way　too　。　。　。　fruity。　

Better　learn　to　love　it！　

？Oh；　I　just　went　through　your　e…mails；？　Jeanette　piped　in。　？Your　gmail　was　open　when　I　
borrowed　your　puter。　What　a　writer　this　Greg　is！？　She　patted　him　affectionately　on　the　head；　
and　Dan　noticed　that　Vanessa　had　followed　them　into　the　kitchen　and　was　now　zooming　in　on　
Dan？s　red　face。　

？I？ve　been　showing　Greg　here　the　mostadorable　pictures　of　you；　Daniel！？　Jeanette　linked　her　arm　
through　Greg？s　and　grabbed　a　worn　manila　envelope　off　of　the　kitchen　counter　with　her　other　
hand。　Dan　watched　in　horror　as　his　mother　released　Greg　and　proceeded　to　spread　out　a　bunch　of　
creased　old　photos　of　Dan　as　a　kid　on　the　kitchen　counter…top。　？I　was　just　telling　Greg　how　funny　
you　were　as　a　little　boy？whenever　you　played　dress…up；　you　always　raided　my　closet。　Dresses　and　
jewelry；　the　sparklier　the　better！？　Dan　stared　down　unprehendingly　at　a　photograph　of　himself　
at　five　years　old；　dressed　in　a　frilly　purple　cocktail　dress；　his　hips　cocked　defiantly。　

？And　you　see！？　Jeanette　continued；　tapping　a　sloppily　painted　rainbow　nail　against　the　
photograph。　？He　was　always　stealing　my　lipstick；　too！？　Greg　and　Jeanette　chuckled　together；　
lightly　touching　each　other？s　arms。　

？I　did　the　exact　same　thing　when　I　was　a　kid！？　Greg　giggled。　？And　yet　my　parents　were　
somehow　surprised　when　I　came　out？can　youeven　？？　？Oh；　we　always　suspected　things　might　turn　
out　this　way。？　Jeanette　smiled　admiringly；　reaching　over　to　smooth　down　Dan？s　messy　brown　hair。　

Dan　looked　up　to　see　if　Vanessa　was　still　filming；　but　she　seemed　to　have　headed　back　into　the　
living　room；　probably　to　do　some　interviews　on　who　had　known　he　was　gay　when。　He　sighed。　Dan　
knew　his　mom？s　heart　was　in　the　right　place；　but　he　couldn？t　help　but　feel　squeamish　seeing　
himself　as　a　girl…boy　and　having　it　implied　that　his　gayness　had　been　practically　predetermined。　
Had　everyone　known　all　along？　Looking　at　the　photographs　of　him　wearing　dresses　and　tap　shoes；　
hugging　plush　stuffed　animals；　his　mother？s　lipstick　ringing　his　mouth；　the　evidence　seemed　
irrefutable。　


Suddenly　Chuck　Bass　appeared　from　the　direction　of　the　bathroom。　What　washe　doing　here？　
Chuck　was　dressed　in　a　white　tank　top　that　showed　off　his　ridiculously　tan　and　buff　summer　body；　
and　a　pair　of　aqua…and…pink　flowered　Hawaiian　shorts。　A　rainbow…colored　lei　hung　around　his　
neck；　the　petals　bright　against　his　dark　skin。　His　ever…present　white　snow　monkey；　Sweetie；　was　
perched　on　his　shoulder；　pulling　at　strands　of　Chuck？s　over…producted　hair。　Sweetie　was　dressed　in　
a　tiny　black　T…shirt　with　the　words　SILENCE=DEATH　printed　in　white　lettering。　The　monkey　
screeched　loudly；　waving　its　furry　white　arms　in　the　air。　

？Congratulations！？　Chuck　raised　his　Cosmo。　？It？s　abouttime　！？　The　small　crowd　murmured　their　
agreement；　holding　up　their　glasses　and　clinking　their　cups　against　Dan？s　untouched　drink。　
Great？even　a　plete　moron　like　Chuck　Bass　had　known　Dan　was　gay　before　he　did。　Was　it；　like；　
stamped　on　his　fucking　forehead　or　something？　As　if　it　wasn？t　weird　enough　that　he　was　here；　
Chuck　suddenly　pulled　him　by　the　elbow　into　the　corner　so　that　they　were　out　of　earshot　of　the　
rest　of　the　group。　

？Chuck；　what　are　youdoing　here？？　Dan　blurted　out　before　Chuck　could　say　anything。　

Chuck　flapped　a　hand；　as　if　waving　off　the　silly　question。　？I　got　the　e…mail　from　your　
mom？everybody　did。　Subject　line：　？Dan？s　gay？hooray！？　Anyway；　is　that　your　boyfriend？？　Chuck　
asked；　pointing　across　the　room　at　Greg。　Greg　was　now　standing　next　to　Vanessa；　who　was　
laughing　loudly　with　her　head　thrown　back。　

Dan？s　gay？hooray？Dan　resisted　the　urge　to　climb　out　on　the　fire　escape　and　throw　himself　onto　
the　street　below。　He　gave　Chuck　a　weak　smile。　？Um；　Greg　and　I　。　。　。　we？re？？　？You　know；　Dan；？　
Chuck　interrupted；　one　hand　resting　on　his　shoulder；　？I　never　really　had　anything　against　you。？　He　
looked　meaningfully　into　Dan？s　eyes。　？I　think　we　were　both　just　feeling　some　
unresolved　。　。　。tension　；　if　you　know　what　I　mean。？　Chuck　smiled　and　casually　let　his　fingers　trail　
from　Dan？s　shoulder　down　his　bare　arm。　Just　then　the　monkey　reached　down　and　stuck　its　tiny　
brown　hand　in　Chuck？s　drink；　spattering　the　pink　liquid　everywhere　with　a　high…pitched　screech。　

？Bad　Sweetie！？　Chuck　exclaimed；　dabbing　at　his　Cosmo…stained　tank　top　with　his　
fingers。　？Excuse　me　for　a　moment？？　Chuck　flashed　him　an　apologetic　smile。　？I　have　to　go　spank　
my　monkey。？　He　laughed　at　his　own　perverse　joke　and　moved　toward　the　kitchen　sink；　chattering　
to　Sweetie　under　his　breath。　Maybe　Dan　was　losing　his　mind　pletely；　but　it　sounded　like　
Sweetie　was　actually　answering　Chuck　in　some　kind　of　crazed　monkey…speak。　

Dan　shook　his　head　and　wove　through　the　crowded　kitchen　to　the　living　room。　His　dad　stood　in　
the　center　of　the　room；　holding　court　before　an　enraptured　audience　of　middle…aged　guys　with　
straggly；　bushy　beards。　Rufus　was　dressed　in　a　light…pink　？70s　leisure　suit　with　a　PFLAG　pin　on　
one　insanely　wide　lapel。　

？Dan！？　Rufus　bellowed。　？There　you　are！？　He　put　his　arm　around　his　son？s　shoulders　and　turned　
to　the　group　of　bearded　Rufus　clones　surrounding　them。　？Dan；　these　are　the　members　of　my　
gastronomic　society？they　brought　the　wild　boar　pat？。？　The　group　of　men　raised　their　glasses　in　


greeting；　and　Rufus　pointed　to　a　plate　of　suspiciously　lumpy　brown　pat？　over　on　the　battered　
wooden　coffee　table。　？Try　some？it？s　fantastic。？　Silence　=　death。　

？And　Dan。？　Rufus　leaned　in　to　speak　more　privately；　？I　was　thinking　about　this　whole　transition　
you？re　going　through。？　He　stopped　and　scratched　his　mess　of　a　beard。　？Well；　maybe　its　not　so　
much　atransition　as