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？Can　I　bum　a　smoke？？　Blair　eyed　Serena？s　slouchy　black　leather　Gucci　bag。　Serena　nodded　and　
pulled　out　her　pack　of　Gauloises；　handing　one　to　her。　Even　though　she？d　brought　her　own　Merit　
Ultra　Lights；　Blair　decided　that　with　Yale　ing　up　so　soon；　she？d　better　start　smoking　a　more　
serious　brand　of　cigarettes。　

Doesn？t　she　mean　more　pretentious？　

A　horde　of　little　kids　dressed　in　shorts　and　T…shirts　stumbled　up　the　steps；　holding　onto　a　long　
piece　of　red　rope。　Blair　watched　as　the　kids　struggled　to　make　it　to　the　top　of　the　steps；　yelling　and　
laughing；　all　moving　together　in　a　group。　She　remembered　how　in　first　grade；　for　whatever　
ridiculous　reason；　everyone　in　her　class　had　decided　that　she　had　cooties。　Serena　was　the　only　one　
who　would　talk　to　her。　And　then；　of　course；　as　soon　as　she　had　accepted　Blair；　everyone　else　had　
been　quick　to　follow。　Serena　never　had　trouble　finding　people　to　worship　her　and　copy　her　every　
move；　even　back　when　they　could　barely　form　sentences。　

Serena　exhaled　a　cloud　of　sweetly　scented　smoke。　？Sometimes　I　can？t　believe　we　were　ever　that　
young。？　

Like　they？re　so　ancient　now。　

？Iknow　。？　Blair　pushed　her　glossy　dark　hair　off　her　shoulders。　？I　can？t　believe　we？re　going　to　
college　in　a　week。？　She　looked　at　the　group　of　kids　again。　Two　girls　were　fighting　over　a　place　on　
the　red　rope。　？I　can？t　wait　to　get　to　Yale　and　just　start　over　again。　Can？t　you　just　picture　it？？　She　


closed　her　eyes；　smiling　happily　as　she　conjured　up　the　freshly…mowed　green　grass　strewn　with　
fall　leaves　and　ivy…covered　brick　walls。　Ah；Yale。　She　and　Nate　were　going　to　move　into　a　cozy　
colonial　house　and　live　happily　ever　after。　They　could　even　have　Serena　over　for　dinner　sometimes。　
She？d　regale　them　with　stories　about　the　single　life；　crazy　frat　parties；　and　silly　hookups　followed　
by　morning　walks　of　shame；　and　Blair　and　Nate　would　chuckle　and　smile　at　each　other　across　the　
table；　smugly　happy　that　they？d　found　theone　and　weren？t　out　there　getting　drunk　and　sloppy。　

Serena　closed　her　eyes　too；　and　tried　her　best　to　put　herself　there；　beside　Blair　and　Nate　at　Yale　in　
the　fall。　But　behind　her　closed　eyelids　lay　a　mass　of　empty；　undefined　darkness。　She　frowned。　She　
couldn？t　ignore　the　fact　that　every　time　she　tried　to　imagine　her　life　at　college；　she　wound　up　
drawing　a　plete　blank。　She　snapped　her　eyes　open　and　instantly　felt　forted　by　the　sight　of　
Fifth　Avenue；　its　sea　of　yellow　taxis　heading　downtown；　the　stately　green…awninged　buildings　with　
their　impeccably　dressed　doormen　who　wore　suits　and　white　gloves　no　matter　how　hot　it　was。　

Blair　took　a　drag　from　her　Galoise。　？So；　when　I　was　saying　I　wanted　to　kill　my　family　before　。　。　。　
I？m　kind　of　serious　this　time。　They？re　moving　to　L。A。　because　Cyrus　is　building　some　golf　course　
or　mall　or　something　putrid　that　the　people　out　there　like。　Of　course　theywould　leave　the　city　for　
the　fucking　natural…disaster　capital　of　the　world。？　She　rolled　her　eyes；　her　bitterness　starting　to　
creep　back　in。　

？What？？Serena　angled　her　body　toward　Blair？s；　so　that　their　knees　were　touching。　？Are　you　
serious？？　Blair　crushed　out　the　cigarette　beneath　the　heel　of　her　leopard…print　Repetto　ballet　
flats。　？She　gave　me　this　whole　sob　story　about　how　poor　baby　Yale　needed　to　be　raised　in　a　place　
that　had　abackyard。　？　？We　didn？t　have　backyards　and　we　turned　out　okay；？　Serena　replied；　her　
normally　smooth　brow　wrinkled　in　thought。Had　they　turned　out　okay？　Another　group　of　kids　ran　
up　the　massive　steps；　screaming　at　the　top　of　their　lungs。　

？That？s　whatI　said。？　Blair　threw　up　her　hands　in　exasperation。　？I　mean；　we　had　the　wholecity　to　
play　in。　Like　those　kids。They　don？t　look　unhappy。？　She　gestured　toward　the　group　of　
five…year…olds；　who　were　giggling　as　they　raced　each　other　up　the　giant　stone　steps。　Blair　
straightened　with　a　sudden　thought。　？But　actually；　maybe　I　won？t　have　to　kill　my　family　now。　
Maybe　an　earthquake　will　just　swallow　them　up。　Except　my　baby　sister；　of　course。　She　can　stay。？　
She　tried　to　laugh　but　couldn？t。　Nothing　was　funny　right　now。　

If　picturing　her　family　dead　doesn？t　make　her　happy；　maybe　she　should　try　something　less　
violent；　like　meditation。　

？Wow；？　Serena　observed　glumly；　twirling　a　long　piece　of　golden　hair　around　one　finger；　suddenly　
feeling　sad　and　serious。　She　looked　out　to　Fifth　Avenue　again；　just　as　a　bus　with　theBreakfast　at　
Fred？s　ad　rolled　by。　She　quickly　turned　away；　not　sure　why　seeing　it　made　her　feel　jittery　and　
unsettled。　？I　can？t　imagine　you　anywhere　else　but　right　here。　I　mean；　we？ve　lived；　like；　ten　blocks　
away　from　each　other　our　wholelives。　？　Blairhad　always　been　here　in　the　city；　right　by　her　side。　
Even　when　they　weren？t　getting　along？which　was　a　lot　of　the　time？it　had　made　her　feel　better　to　
know　that　Blair　was　just　half　a　mile　away；　sleeping　in　the　room　Serena　knew　so　well。　What　would　


Thanksgiving　or　Christmas　break　be　like　now　with　her　in　California？　Or　the　summers；　for　that　
matter？　Serena　had　always　thought　they？d　be　together　forever；　and　now　she　wasn？t　so　sure。　She　
looked　over　at　Blair；　who　was　deep　in　thought。　

？So；　I　told　you　about　how　the　release　date　of　my　movie　got　pushed　up；　right？　I？m　totally　stressed　
about　the　premiere；？　Serena　said；　deciding　to　change　the　subject　for　both　their　sakes。　She　pushed　
her　mass　of　hair　over　her　shoulder。　？There？s　a　press　conference　at　the　Soho　House　on　Tuesday；　
and　I？m　really　nervous。？　Blair　turned　to　her　friend　and　took　another　swig　of　cold　sweet　coffee。　
Serena　certainlyhadn？t　told　her　the　release　date　had　been　moved　up；　but　that　explained　why　she？d　
seen　her　face　and　the　words　？True　Love　Never　Lies？　pass　by　on　three　different　buses　since　they？d　
sat　down。　Serena　was　staring　straight　ahead；　and　Blair　couldn？t　tear　her　gaze　away　from　her　
perfect　profile。　Even　though　her　face　was　flushed　and　a　little　bit　sweaty　from　the　sun　overhead；　it　
should？ve　been　etched　in　glass　and　then　minted　onto　a　fucking　coin。　But　however　jealous　she　
might　be　of　the　fact　that　Serena　was　going　to　be　an　overnight　sensation；　she　had　to　admit　she　felt　
kind　of　proud；　too。　The　only　thing　better　than　having　fame　and　fortune　happen　to　you　was　to　have　
it　happen　to　your　best　friend。　

Excuse　me；　but　what　happened　to　the　Blair　we　all　know　and　love？　

？Don？t　worry。？　Blair　turned　and　gave　Serena？s　knee　a　squeeze。　？You？re　going　to　be　
fine。？　？Thanks。　That　means　a　lot　to　me；？　Serena　replied　slowly；　her　voice　soft。　？Oh；　and　will　you　
e　shopping　with　me　for　the　Met　party？？　？Of　course。？　Blair　nodded。　She　remembered　how　
much　fun　they　used　to　have　playing　dress…up　when　they　were　little；　trying　on　clothes　in　her　room　
all　afternoon　and　drinking　Campari　and　sodas　with　lime；　giggling　together　in　the　bathroom　mirror　
as　Serena　expertly　painted　Blair？s　lids　with　black　liner；　or　lacquered　her　nails　with　ballet　slipper　
pink　Essie　polish。　

Even　if　Serena　had　written　Nate　that　stupid　love　letter；　Blair　was　the　one　who　was　with　him　now。　
There　really　wasn？t　any　reason　they　couldn？t　still　be　best　friends。　Serena　would　be　the　famous　one　
and　Blair　would　be　。　。　。　the　happy　one。　

　Right。　

all　n　needs　now　is　a　peg　leg　

Nate　crossed　West　Forty…fourth　Street　and　headed　toward　the　imposing　beaux…arts　limestone　
building　that　housed　the　New　York　Yacht　Club。　The　large　bay　windows　resembled　the　sterns　of　
ships　and　made　Nate　wish　desperately　that　he　was　still　out　at　sea　with　Blair；　her　wet；　sandy　hair　
tickling　his　skin；　nothing　in　the　distance　but　blue　sky　and　endless　horizons。　He　only　felt　like　
himself　when　he　was　on　board　theCharlotte　；　far　away　from　the　city　and　the　pressures　of　real　life。　
Why　did　real　life　always　have　to　be　soplicated　？　He？d　been　back　on　dry　land　for　one　day；　and　


he　was　already　in　serious　trouble。　

Story　of　his　life。　

He　pushed　open　the　front　door　and　stepped　inside　the　opulent　interior　of　the　old　club。　The　
paneling　was　all　deep；　rich　mahogany；　and　everything　in　sight　was　gilded　in　gold。　He　pushed　his　
shoulders　back　and　tried　to　stand　up　a　little　straighter　as　he　climbed　the　ornate；　winding　marble　
staircase　toward　an　impeccably　dressed　attendant。　

？I？m　here　to　see　。　。　。　uh　。　。　。　Captain　Chips；？　Nate　said　stupidly；　realizing　he　couldn？t　even　
remember　Chips？s　last　name。　？I？m　Nate；　um；　Nathaniel　Archibald。？　The　attendant　looked　down　at　
his　metal　clipboard　and　quickly　found　his　name；　placing　a　neat　check　mark　right　beside　it。　

？Right　this　way；　Mr。　Archibald。　CaptainWhite　is　expecting　you　in　the　Grill　Room。？　The　attendant　
emphasized　the　name　White；　as　if　implying　that　Nate　ought　to　remember　it。　Nate　gulped　and　
followed　him　down　the　wooden　stairs　to　a　set　of　heavy　oak　doors。　

The　gracefully　curved　ceiling　of　the　Grill　Room　was　fashioned　out　of　planks　of　oak；　the　floors　
and　walls　paneled　in　the　dark　wood。　Round　tables　covered　in　white　linen　tablecloths　were　
scattered　around　the　cozy；　underground　space。　It　was　like　being　in　the　belly　of　a　tall　ship；　and　Nate　
instantly　felt　a　thousand　times　more　fortable。　He　could　almost　hear　the　wood　creaking　under　
his　feet　as　he　was　led　toward　a　man　dressed　in　full　navy　uniform；　gold　medals　shining　on　his　lapels。　
His　white　hair　was　neatly　bed　back　from　a　deeply　tanned；　severely　lined　face。　A　gold　wedding　
band　winked　from　his　wrinkled；　leathery　hand。　As　Nate　approached；　the　man　stood　and　gripped　
Nate？s　palm。　

？Nate　Archibald。　You？re　the　spitting　image　of　your　father；？　Chips　growled　with　a　Scottish　accent。　
He　looked　at　Nate　with　crinkly…lidded　blue　eyes　beneath　bushy　white　brows；　and　motioned　to　the　
leather…cushioned　chair　across　from　his。　？Sit。　Have　a　drink。？　Chips　sat　back　down　and　gestured　to　
the　waiter；　a　man　in　his　forties　with　neatly　bed　sandy　hair　falling　over　a　wide　forehead。　Chips　
pointed　at　his　glassful　of　amber…colored　liquid　and　held　up　two　wizened　fingers。　？You　like　scotch？？　
He　cocked　an　eyebrow　at　Nate。　

？Sure。？　Nate　shuffled　his　legs　under　the　table。　？Anything？s　fine。？　The　waiter　leaned　in；　speaking　
softly。　？I？m　sorry；　sir；？　he　whispered　apologetically。　？I？m　going　to　need　to　see　some　ID。？　Nate　
paused　for　a　second；　feeling　like　he？d　been　trapped。　He？d　already　agreed　to　have　scotch；　but　now　
he？d　have　to　show　his　fake　ID。　Was　Chips　setting　him　up？　He　gulped　and　reached　into　the　back　
pocket　of　his　cargo　shorts；　retrieving　the　battered　brown　leather　wallet　his　dad　had　given　him　for　
his　sixteenth　birthday。　He　pulled　out　the　fake　ID　he？d　gotten　off　the　Internet。　It　looked　pretty　good；　
and　it　usually　worked？except　for　the　fact　they？d　mixed　up　the　hair　and　eyes　categories；　so　if　you　
read　it　closely　it　said　？brown　eyes；　green　hair。？　The　waiter　peered　at　the　ID　for　a　long　moment　and　
Nate　shifted　in　his　chair　guiltily。　When　the　waiter　looked　up；　he　shot　him　a　wry　smile。　？Very　
good；sir　；？　he　added；　handing　Nate　back　the　laminated　card。　


？I　always　say；？　Chips　declared；　？that　all　it　takes　to　cure　life？s　woes　is　a　bottle　of　good　scotch　and　
the　open　sea。？　He　chuckled　and　slapped　the　tabletop　with　one　hand　as　if　to　punctuate　his　speech。　

Nate　nodded　lamely　as　he　leaned　back　in　his　chair；　trying　to　get　fortable。　He　glanced　around　
the　room。　He　was　the　youngest　person　there　by　at　least　forty　years？clusters　of　wizened　old　men　
were　gathered　at　every　single　oak　table；　each　man　gruffer　and　stonier　than　the　next。　One　of　them　
had　an　actual　eye　patch。　The　old　cyclops　squinted　in　Nate？s　direction　with　his　one　good　eye。　
Before　Nate　could　start　to　muse　on　what　terrible　sailing　accident　had　caused　him　to　lose　his　
eyeball；　the　white…jacketed　waiter　returned　and　placed　a　glass　of　scotch　in　front　of　him。　

？Thank　you；？　he　mumbled。　

？Cheers；　my　boy。？　Chips　lifted　his　tumbler　and　then　took　a　huge　swig。　Nate　quickly　followed　suit；　
gagging　on　the　fiery　amber　liquid。　The　scotch　was　freaking　strong？stronger　than　anything　he？d　
ever　had？and　Chips　was　drinking　it　like　lemonade。Whowas　this　guy？　

？You？re　nothing　like　what　I　thought；？　Nate　blurted　out；　turning　red　and　taking　another　small；　
tentative　nip。　From　everything　his　dad　had　told　him　about　Chips；　Nate　had　thought　he　would　be　a　
total　hard…ass　who？d　give　him　lecture　on　getting　his　shit　together　the　second　he　sat　down。　But　so　
far　Chips　couldn？t　have