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d　up　to　his　potential　in　school。　And　it　was　all　because　he’d　given　up　chicks。　They’re　bad　for　you；　he　told　himself　now。　But　Jenny　seemed　so　simple　and　pure；　and　Nate　couldn’t　imagine　her　being　bad　for　anyone。　He　took　a　tentative　step　toward　her。

“So；　I　guess　this　is　Blair’s　mom’s　dress；　right？”　Jenny　asked；　shrugging　her　milky　white　shoulders。

He　reached　up　and　brushed　an　errant　curl　off　Jenny’s　shoulders；　then　quickly　yanked　his　hand　back　to　his　side。

So　much　for　staying　strong。

Jenny　giggled　and　tilted　her　face　toward　his。　He　pressed　his　lips　against　hers；　slowly　at　first；　then　more　urgently。

“Nate；”　Jenny　murmured。　She　felt　his　hand　on　her　bare　upper　back；　right　above　where　the　zipper　had　stopped　on　the　dress。　She　wondered　if　he　could　feel　how　quickly　her　heart　was　beating　in　her　chest。　The　stubble　from　his　chin　tickled　her　face。　Her　fingers　fluttered　up　behind　his　head；　to　pull　him　closer。

Suddenly；　Nate　pulled　away。　“Do　you　hear　that？”　He　cocked　his　hand　in　a　way　that　reminded　Jenny　of　a　golden　retriever。　Jenny　listened。　She　could　hear　the　twins’　wavering　toddler　voices　singing　an　off…key　rendition　of　“Frère　Jacques”　from　downstairs。

“Sounds　like　the　twins　are　up。　We　should…”　Nate　trailed　off；　shrugging。

“Yeah；”　Jenny　agreed；　disappointed。　“I　should　change；”　she　added　sheepishly。　She　reached　behind　her；　fumbling　for　the　zipper。

“Can　I　help？”　Nate　reached　for　the　zipper　and　eased　it　down；　gently　allowing　his　fingers　to　brush　against　the　soft　skin　of　her　bare　back。　He’d　forgotten　how　soft　girls’　skin　was。

“Thanks。”　Jenny　crossed　her　arms　tightly　over　her　chest　to　make　sure　the　dress　didn’t　fall　down。　She　suddenly　felt　shy。

“I’ll　give　you　some　privacy；”　he　offered；　and　stepped　back　into　the　bathroom。　He　closed　the　door　and　she　quickly　stepped　out　of　the　dress。　She　made　her　way　over　to　the　wardrobe；　but　before　she　could　set　the　heavy　dress　inside；　her　foot　caught　on　the　leg　of　the　mirror。　It　toppled　to　the　ground　with　a　crash。　Fuck。

“You　okay？”　Nate　called；　popping　his　head　around　the　door。

“Everything’s　fine！”　She　yelped。　The　mirror　hadn’t　broken；　but　it　was　lying　on　its　side。　She　hastily　set　it　upright；　threw　the　dress　back　on　the　bed；　then　sprinted　down　the　attic　stairs　and　back　to　the　tiny　guest　room；　her　heart　pounding　from　adrenaline。

Not　to　mention　infatuation。

crushes　cover　for　each　other

Blair　heard　a　loud　crash　from　the　attic　and　woke　up　with　a　start。　Sun　was　streaming　through　the　east…facing　windows　of　the　guest　bedroom　and　Chuck　was　breathing　easily　beside　her；　oblivious　to　the　noise。

Blair　cocked　her　head　and　heard　the　sound　of　loud　footsteps　right　above　her。　Immediately；　she　remembered　how　many　houseguests　were　under　the　roof。　How　Serena　and　Nate　had　crashed　what　was　supposed　to　be　a　normal；　sane　holiday　vacation。

Doesn’t　she　know　by　now　that　doesn’t　exist？

She　threw　on　a　silky　peach　Cosabella　robe；　double…knotted　it　over　her　cami　and　boy　shorts；　and　stomped　toward　the　attic　stairs。

“Hello？”　she　called；　an　edge　to　her　voice　as　she　stomped　up　the　rickety　attic　stairs。　If　Nate　was　up　here　with　Serena…　well；　Blair　didn’t　even　know　what　the　fuck　she’d　do　if　she　found　them　together。　And　if　Serena　and　her　gross　pseudo…intellectual　boyfriend　were　doing　anything　up　here；　she’d　still　be　annoyed。　Just　the　fact　that　Serena　was　in　the　house　pissed　her　off。　What　part　of　her　speech　last　winter　had　made　Serena　think　it　was　a　good　idea　to　follow　her　to　Newport？

Blair　swung　open　the　door；　ready　to　tell　whoever　was　up　there　to　get　the　fuck　out。　But　it　was　just　Nate；　standing　near　the　large　antique　wardrobe　in　the　corner；　holding　what　looked　like　her　mom’s　wedding　dress　out　in　front　of　him。

“Oh；　hey；”　Nate　said；　turning　around　to　face　Blair。

“What　the　hell？”　Blair　demanded　angrily。　This　was　one　scenario　she　hadn’t　anticipated。　Had　Nate　been　trying　on　her　mom’s　dress？

“Sorry；　I　was　just　looking　around。　Remember　how　we　used　to　play　hide…and…seek　up　here？”　Nate　asked　innocently。

Blair　softened　slightly。　Nate　might　be　insensitive　and　have　idiotic　lapses　of　judgment；　but　he　definitely　wasn’t　a　cross…dresser。　“I　thought　I　heard　a　noise。”　She　folded　her　arms　over　her　chest。

“I　accidentally　bumped　into　the　mirror。　It’s　fine；　though。”　He　gestured　toward　her　great…grandmother　Cornelia’s　gold　mirror　in　the　corner。

“What　are　you　doing　with　my　mom’s　wedding　dress？”　Blair　asked　pointedly。

“Sorry。”　Nate　racked　his　brain；　trying　to　e　up　with　an　excuse　that　didn’t　sound　too　idiotic。　He’d　wanted　to　clean　up　after　Jenny。　Blair　would　rip　Jenny’s　sweet　little　curls　from　her　head　if　she　knew　she’d　been　up　here；　snooping　and　trying　on　Blair’s　mom’s　old　stuff。

And　kissing　him？

“I　was　just…　reminiscing；”　Nate　said　finally。　“This　house　brings　up　a　lot　of　memories。”

“It　does　for　me；　too；”　Blair　admitted。　She　sat　down　on　one　of　the　large　steamer　trunks；　hugged　her　legs　to　her　chest；　and　stared　at　the　dress；　which　Nate　had　placed　over　his　rumpled　sheets。　She　used　to　play　dress…up　with　her　mom’s　clothes　until　well　into　high　school。　She’d　even　worn　this　very　dress　and　imagined　walking　down　the　aisle　at　St。　Patrick’s；　with　Nate　waiting　for　her　at　the　altar。

“You　would　look　beautiful　in　it；”　Nate　mused。　In　the　picture　in　his　mind；　he　substituted　Jenny’s　sloping　curves　for　Blair’s　sharp　collarbones。

Blair　smiled　despite　herself。　“I　always　thought　I’d　marry　you　wearing　this；”　she　said　honestly。　“We’d　get　married　in　St。　Patrick’s…。”

“And　honeymoon　in　Capri；”　Nate　finished。

Blair　laughed。　It　was　genuine；　and　the　sound　surprised　her。　“We　were　so　young。”

“I’m　glad　you　and　Chuck　are　happy；”　Nate　said　softly。　He　remembered　the　awful；　wild　look　in　Blair’s　eyes　last　year　at　that　hotel　room；　when　he’d　accidentally　ruined　her　relationship　with　her　Yale　boyfriend。　She　deserved　to　be　with　a　good　guy。

“I　hope　you’re　happy　too；”　she　offered。　She　knew　Deep　Springs　had　done　a　lot　for　both　Nate　and　Chuck；　but　something　in　Nate’s　green　eyes　still　looked　lost。　It　made　her　want　to　smooth　his　hair　and　hold　his　hand　and　climb　back　under　the　sheets　on　the　sleigh　bed　and—

“I　should　go　find　Chuck；　actually；”　Blair　said；　standing　up　abruptly。

“Good；”　Nate　said　quickly。　“I　mean；　I　have　to　take　a　shower。”

Blair　padded　downstairs；　wondering　why　her　brain　had　to　be　such　a　dangerous　place。　What　was　she　doing　fantasizing　about　Nate　when　she　had　Chuck—Chuck；　who　made　her　feel　like　a　princess；　and　never；　ever　fucked　with　her—just　down　the　hall？　It　was　infuriating。

Blair　paused　at　the　top　of　the　stairs　as　she　heard　Serena’s　voice　mingling　with　the　twins’　high…pitched；　French…accented　lisps。　What　the　fuck？　She　descended　into　the　kitchen。　Serena　sat　with　the　twins　at　the　large　round　wooden　kitchen　table。　A　jar　of　peanut　butter；　a　jar　of　jelly；　and　a　red　box　of　graham　crackers　sat　in　front　of　them。

“Blair！”　Serena　called　joyfully。

“Bear！”　Both　twins　yelled；　their　faces　sticky　with　peanut　butter。

“Hi；”　Blair　said　stiffly。

“Did　you　sleep　well？”　Serena　asked　hopefully。　She　hadn’t　slept　well　herself；　and　had　spent　most　of　the　night　listening　to　Dan’s　even　breath　and　feeling　guilty　about　intruding　on　Blair。　Finally；　she’d　gotten　up　early　and　had　been　playing　with　the　twins　for　hours。

Blair　stalked　over　to　the　coffeemaker　on　the　counter；　ignoring　Serena’s　inane　question。　The　stainless　steel　carafe　was　empty　and　cold。　“No　coffee？”

“The　twins　wanted　tea　this　morning。”　Serena　shrugged　playfully。

“Ha；”　Blair　replied　sarcastically；　and　pulled　a　bag　of　espresso　beans　from　the　freezer。　She　poured　the　bag　into　a　coffee　grinder　and　noisily　ground　the　coffee；　not　caring　if　anyone　was　still　asleep。　It　was　time　to　wake　up　and　get　the　fuck　out。

Good　morning；　sunshine！

Blair　finished　grinding　the　coffee　and　the　electronic　whir　gave　way　to　Serena’s　patient　voice。

“Okay；　Pauline；　now　crumble　the　graham　crackers　really　hard；”　Serena　told　the　little　girl。　Pauline’s　face　was　scrunched　in　concentration　as　she　squeezed　a　Ziploc　bag　filled　with　graham　cracker　squares。

“What　can　I　do？”　Pierre　piped　up；　his　expression　full　of　naked　adoration。

Blair　turned；　softening。　She　knew　exactly　what　had　to　be　done　next。　She　and　Serena　had　invented　peanut　butter　pie—peanut　butter　and　jelly　mixed　together　on　top　of　crushed　graham　crackers—when　they　were　in　first　grade。　Sometimes；　they’d　add　marshmallows；　which　their　nannies　hated　because　it　made　their　hands　impossibly　sticky。

“You　can　take　the　peanut　butter　and　jelly　and　mix　them；”　Blair　said；　searching　the　cabinets　for　a　mixing　bowl　and　setting　it　in　front　of　Pierre。　“I　can’t　believe　we　used　to　eat　this；”　she　said　to　Serena；　shaking　her　head。

“Do　you　have　marshmallows？”　Serena　asked　hopefully；　reading　her　mind。

“Probably。”　Blair　rummaged　through　the　cupboards；　finally　finding　a　bag。　She　tossed　it　over　to　Serena　and　leaned　against　the　counter；　appraising　her。　Serena’s　golden　blond　hair　had　grown　even　longer　in　the　last　year；　and　was　badly　in　need　of　a　cut；　but　somehow　managed　to　still　look　glamorous。　Her　navy　blue　eyes　had　slight　laugh　lines　around　the　edges。　She　looked　just　a　little　bit　older　than　she　had　a　year　ago；　or　maybe　just　more　grown…up。　“So；　you’re　dating　Dan　Humphrey；”　Blair　said　finally。

Serena　nodded。　“Pretty　weird；　right？”

“Yeah；”　Blair　laughed。　It　was　sort　of　weird。　But　Serena　had　always　been　unpredictable。　It　was　one　of　the　things　about　her　that　Blair　loved　most。　It　was　also　one　of　the　things　that　had　driven　her　crazy。

“You’re　dating　Chuck；”　Serena　countered。

“I　know！”　Blair　laughed。　The　blue　teapot　on　the　stove　whistled　and　Blair　poured　the　steamy　water　into　a　French　press。　“Do　you　want　any　coffee？”　she　asked。　It　was　the　Blair　Waldorf　version　of　a　peace　offering。

“Is　it　ready？”　Pierre　and　Pauline　interrupted；　slapping　their　sticky　hands　against　the　counter。

“Sure。”　Serena　gazed　dubiously　at　the　gooey　mess　in　the　pie　pan。　“I　don’t　know　how　they　should　eat　this。”

“Spoons？”　Blair　shrugged。　“As　long　as　they　stay　in　the　kitchen；　my　dad　won’t　care。”

Doesn’t　she　mean　dads？

Serena　carefully　set　up　the　twins　at　the　toddler…size　table　in　the　corner；　remembering　herself　and　Blair　as　children　sitting　at　that　very　table；　doing　that　very　thing。　Blair　was　watching　them　too；　cupping　her　coffee　mug　between　her　hands。

“I　was　just　thinking…”　Serena　began。　She　wanted　to　apologize　to　Blair；　to　say　she　didn’t　even　remember　why　they’d　gotten　so　mad　at　each　other　the　previous　winter；　that　she　just　wanted　to　go　back　to　being　friends　again。　But　she　couldn’t　find　the　words。

She　didn’t　need　to。　“I　know；”　Blair　said。　“Me　too。”

It　was　still　snowing　heavily　outside；　but　inside；　it　seemed　the　ice　had　finally　thawed。

dinner　for　eight

“I　thought　Giles　and　I　should　show　off　our　Proven？al　cooking　skills；”　Harold　announced　as　he　set　a　heavy　red　Le　Creuset　casserole　on　the　long；　rough…hewn　table　in　the　fortable　sunken　dining　room。　It　had　been　snowing　heavily　all　day　with　no　signs　of　stopping；　and　Harold　had　insisted　that　Dan；　Jenny；　Serena；　and　Nate　call　their　parents　and　stay　at　the　Newport　house　until　the　storm　let　up。

Blair　hadn’t　minded—in　fact；　it　had　actually　been　kind　of　fun。　They’d　all　watched　Gone　With　the　Wind；　played　Boggle　and　Monopoly；　and　drunk　way　too　much　of　Harold’s　special　mulled　wine。　Dan　kept　excusing　himself　and　Serena；　either　to　make　out　or　read　in　the　library。　Nate　and　Chuck　had　kept　them　entertained　with　crazy　stories　about　Deep　Springs；　while　Jenny　quietly　looked　on　and　giggled。　Now；　even　though　it　was　only　eight　o’clock；　everyone　was　exhausted　and　drunk。

“Lamb　daube　with　red　wine　and　olives；”　Harold　explained　from　the　head　of　the　table。　“I　bet　this　is　a　far　cry　from　dorm　food。”

“Blair　survives　on　jelly　babies。”　Chuck　named　the　weird　British　candy　that　had　been　the　only　thing　Blair　liked　about　England　before　she　and　Chuck　started　dating。

“Shut　up；”　she　said　good…naturedly。　She’d　spent　the　whole　first　month　surviving　on　whatever　she　could　find　at　the　newsagent’s　near　her　dorm　before　it　closed　at　6　p。m。—potato　chips　and　candy　mostly—but　the　whole　table　didn’t　need　to　know　about　it。

“