快捷操作: 按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页 按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页 按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部! 如果本书没有阅读完，想下次继续接着阅读，可使用上方 "收藏到我的浏览器" 功能 和 "加入书签" 功能！


Shirley　was　still　recounting　the　second…hand　tale　of　Barry’s　final　journey；　giving　all　possible　weight　to　Miles’　quick　thinking　in　calling　the　ambulance；　to　his　support　of　Mary　Fairbrother；　to　his　insistence　on　remaining　with　her　at　the　hospital　until　the　Walls　arrived。　Ruth　listened　attentively；　though　with　a　slight　impatience；　Shirley　was　much　more　entertaining　when　she　was　enumerating　the　inadequacies　of　Samantha　than　when　extolling　the　virtues　of　Miles。　What　was　more；　Ruth　was　bursting　with　something　thrilling　that　she　wished　to　tell　Shirley。

‘So　there’s　an　empty　seat　on　the　Parish　Council；’　Ruth　said；　the　moment　that　Shirley　reached　the　point　in　the　story　where　Miles　and　Samantha　ceded　the　stage　to　Colin　and　Tessa　Wall。

‘We　call　it　a　casual　vacancy；’　said　Shirley　kindly。

Ruth　took　a　deep　breath。

‘Simon；’　she　said；　excited　at　the　mere　telling　of　it；　‘is　thinking　of　standing！’

Shirley　smiled　automatically；　raised　her　eyebrows　in　polite　surprise；　and　took　a　sip　of　tea　to　hide　her　face。　Ruth　was　pletely　unaware　that　she　had　said　anything　to　dispose　her　friend。　She　had　assumed　that　Shirley　would　be　delighted　to　think　of　their　husbands　sitting　on　the　Parish　Council　together；　and　had　a　vague　notion　that　Shirley　might　be　helpful　in　bringing　this　about。

‘He　told　me　last　night；’　Ruth　went　on；　importantly。　‘He’s　been　thinking　about　it　for　a　while。’

Certain　other　things　that　Simon　had　said；　about　the　possibility　of　taking　over　bribes　from　Grays　to　keep　them　on　as　council　contractors；　Ruth　had　pushed　out　of　her　mind；　as　she　pushed　out　all　of　Simon’s　little　dodges；　his　petty　criminalities。

‘I　had　no　idea　Simon　was　interested　in　getting　involved　in　local　government；’　said　Shirley；　her　tone　light　and　pleasant。

‘Oh　yes；’　said　Ruth；　who　had　had　no　idea　either；　‘he’s　very　keen。’

‘Has　he　been　talking　to　Dr　Jawanda？’　asked　Shirley；　sipping　her　tea　again。　‘Did　she　suggest　standing　to　him？’

Ruth　was　thrown　by　this；　and　her　genuine　puzzlement　showed。

‘No；　I　…　Simon　hasn’t　been　to　the　doctor　in　ages。　I　mean；　he’s　very　healthy。’

Shirley　smiled。　If　he　was　acting　alone；　without　the　support　of　the　Jawanda　faction；　then　the　threat　posed　by　Simon　was　surely　negligible。　She　even　pitied　Ruth；　who　was　in　for　a　nasty　surprise。　She；　Shirley；　who　knew　everybody　who　counted　in　Pagford；　would　have　been　hard…pressed　to　recognize　Ruth’s　husband　if　he　came　into　the　delicatessen：　who　on　earth　did　poor　Ruth　think　would　vote　for　him？　On　the　other　hand；　Shirley　knew　that　there　was　one　question　that　Howard　and　Aubrey　would　want　her　to　ask　as　a　matter　of　routine。

‘Simon’s　always　lived　in　Pagford；　hasn’t　he？’

‘No；　he　was　born　in　the　Fields；’　said　Ruth。

‘Ah；’　said　Shirley。

She　peeled　back　the　foil　lid　of　her　yoghurt；　picked　up　her　spoon　and　took　a　thoughtful　mouthful。　The　fact　that　Simon　was　likely　to　have　a　pro…Fields　bias　was；　whatever　his　electoral　prospects；　worth　knowing。

‘Will　it　be　on　the　website；　how　you　put　your　name　forward？’　Ruth　asked；　still　hoping　for　a　late　gush　of　helpfulness　and　enthusiasm。

‘Oh　yes；’　said　Shirley　vaguely。　‘I　expect　so。’

III
Andrew；　Fats　and　twenty…seven　others　spent　the　last　period　on　Wednesday　afternoon　in　what　Fats　called　‘spazmatics’。　This　was　the　second…from…bottom　maths　set；　taken　by　the　department’s　most　inpetent　teacher：　a　blotchy…faced　young　woman　fresh　from　teacher　training；　who　was　incapable　of　keeping　good　order；　and　who　often　seemed　to　be　on　the　verge　of　tears。　Fats；　who　had　set　himself　on　a　course　of　determined　underachievement　over　the　previous　year；　had　been　demoted　to　spazmatics　from　the　top　set。　Andrew；　who　had　struggled　with　numbers　all　his　life；　lived　in　fear　that　he　would　be　relegated　to　the　very　bottom　set；　along　with　Krystal　Weedon　and　her　cousin；　Dane　Tully。

Andrew　and　Fats　sat　at　the　back　of　the　room　together。　Occasionally；　when　he　had　tired　of　entertaining　the　class　or　whipping　it　into　further　disruption；　Fats　would　show　Andrew　how　to　do　a　sum。　The　level　of　noise　was　deafening。　Miss　Harvey　shouted　over　the　top　of　them　all；　begging　for　quiet。　Worksheets　were　defaced　by　obscenities；　people　got　up　constantly　to　visit　each　other’s　desks；　scraping　their　chair　legs　across　the　floor；　small　missiles　flew　across　the　room　whenever　Miss　Harvey　looked　away。　Sometimes　Fats　made　excuses　to　walk　up　and　down　the　room；　imitating　Cubby’s　bouncy　up…and…down　stiff…armed　walk。　Fats’　humour　was　at　its　broadest　here；　in　English；　where　he　and　Andrew　were　both　in　the　top　set；　he　did　not　bother　to　use　Cubby　for　material。

Sukhvinder　Jawanda　was　sitting　directly　in　front　of　Andrew。　Long　ago；　in　primary　school；　Andrew；　Fats　and　the　other　boys　had　pulled　Sukhvinder’s　long；　blue…black　plait；　it　was　the　easiest　thing　to　catch　hold　of　when　playing　tag；　and　it　had　once　presented　an　irresistible　temptation　when　dangling；　like　now；　down　her　back；　hidden　from　the　teacher。　But　Andrew　no　longer　had　any　desire　to　tug　it；　nor　to　touch　any　part　of　Sukhvinder；　she　was　one　of　the　few　girls　over　whom　his　eyes　glided　without　the　slightest　interest。　Since　Fats　had　pointed　it　out；　he　had　noticed　the　soft　dark　down　on　her　upper　lip。　Sukhvinder’s　older　sister；　Jaswant；　had　a　lithe　curvy　figure；　a　tiny　waist　and　a　face　that；　prior　to　the　advent　of　Gaia；　had　seemed　beautiful　to　Andrew；　with　its　high　cheekbones；　smooth　golden　skin　and　almond…shaped　liquid…brown　eyes。　Naturally；　Jaswant　had　always　been　pletely　beyond　his　reach：　two　years　older　and　the　cleverest　girl　in　the　sixth　form；　with　an　aura　of　being　aware；　to　the　last　hard…on；　of　her　own　attractions。

Sukhvinder　was　the　only　person　in　the　room　who　was　making　absolutely　no　noise。　With　her　back　hunched　and　her　head　bent　low　over　her　work；　she　appeared　to　be　cocooned　in　concentration。　She　had　pulled　the　left　sleeve　of　her　jumper　down　so　that　it　pletely　covered　her　hand；　enclosing　the　cuff　to　make　a　woolly　fist。　Her　total　stillness　was　almost　ostentatious。

‘The　great　hermaphrodite　sits　quiet　and　still；’　murmured　Fats；　his　eyes　fixed　on　the　back　of　Sukhvinder’s　head。　‘Moustachioed；　yet　large…mammaried；　scientists　remain　baffled　by　the　contradictions　of　the　hairy　man…woman。’

Andrew　sniggered；　yet　he　was　not　entirely　at　his　ease。　He　would　have　enjoyed　himself　more　if　he　knew　that　Sukhvinder　could　not　hear　what　Fats　was　saying。　The　last　time　that　he　had　been　over　at　Fats’　house；　Fats　had　shown　him　the　messages　he　was　sending　regularly　to　Sukhvinder’s　Facebook　page。　He　had　been　scouring　the　inter　for　information　and　pictures　about　hirsutism；　and　was　sending　a　quotation　or　an　image　a　day。

It　was　sort　of　funny；　but　it　made　Andrew　unfortable。　Strictly　speaking；　Sukhvinder　was　not　asking　for　it：　she　seemed　a　very　easy　target。　Andrew　liked　it　best　when　Fats　directed　his　savage　tongue　towards　figures　of　authority；　the　pretentious　or　the　self…satisfied。

‘Separated　from　its　bearded；　bra…wearing　herd；’　said　Fats；　‘it　sits；　lost　in　thought；　wondering　whether　it　would　suit　a　goatee。’

Andrew　laughed；　then　felt　guilty；　but　Fats　lost　interest；　and　turned　his　attention　to　transforming　every　zero　on　his　worksheet　into　a　puckered　anus。　Andrew　reverted　to　trying　to　guess　where　the　decimal　point　should　go；　and　contemplating　the　prospect　of　the　school　bus　home；　and　Gaia。　It　was　always　much　more　difficult　to　find　a　seat　where　he　might　keep　her　in　his　eye…line　on　the　school…to…home　trip；　because　she　was　frequently　boxed　in　before　he　got　there；　or　too　far　away。　Their　shared　amusement　in　Monday　morning’s　assembly　had　led　nowhere。　She　had　not　made　eye　contact　with　him　on　the　bus　either　morning　since；　nor　in　any　other　way　demonstrated　that　she　knew　he　existed。　In　the　four　weeks　of　his　infatuation；　Andrew　had　never　actually　spoken　to　Gaia。　He　attempted　to　formulate　opening　lines　while　the　din　of　spazmatics　crashed　around　him。　‘That　was　funny；　Monday；　in　assembly　…’

‘Sukhvinder；　are　you　all　right？’

Miss　Harvey；　who　had　bent　down　over　Sukhvinder’s　work　to　mark　it；　was　gawping　into　the　girl’s　face。　Andrew　watched　Sukhvinder　nod　and　draw　in　her　hands；　obscuring　her　face；　still　hunched　up　over　her　work。

‘Wallah！’　stage…whispered　Kevin　Cooper；　from　two　rows　in　front。　‘Wallah！　Peanut！’

He　was　trying　to　draw　their　attention　to　what　they　already　knew：　that　Sukhvinder；　judging　by　the　gentle　quivering　of　her　shoulders；　was　crying；　and　that　Miss　Harvey　was　making　hopeless；　harried　attempts　to　find　out　what　was　wrong。　The　class；　detecting　a　further　lapse　in　their　teacher’s　vigilance；　raged　louder　than　ever。

‘Peanut！　Wallah！’

Andrew　could　never　decide　whether　Kevin　Cooper　irritated　intentionally　or　accidentally；　but　he　had　an　infallible　knack　for　grating　on　people。　The　nickname　‘Peanut’　was　a　very　old　one；　which　had　clung　to　Andrew　in　primary　school；　he　had　always　hated　it。　Fats　had　forced　the　name　out　of　fashion　by　never　using　it；　Fats　had　always　been　the　final　arbiter　in　such　matters。　Cooper　was　even　getting　Fats’　name　wrong：　‘Wallah’　had　enjoyed　only　a　brief　popularity；　last　year。

‘Peanut！　Wallah！’

‘Fuck　off；　Cooper；　you　glans…headed　moron；’　said　Fats　under　his　breath。　Cooper　was　hanging　over　the　back　of　his　seat；　staring　at　Sukhvinder；　who　had　curled　over；　her　face　almost　touching　the　desk；　while　Miss　Harvey　crouched　beside　her；　her　hands　fluttering　ically；　forbidden　to　touch　her；　and　unable　to　elicit　any　explanation　for　her　distress。　A　few　more　people　had　noticed　this　unusual　disturbance　and　were　staring；　but　at　the　front　of　the　room；　several　boys　continued　to　rampage；　oblivious　to　everything　but　their　own　amusement。　One　of　them　seized　the　wood…backed　board　rubber　from　Miss　Harvey’s　vacated　desk。　He　threw　it。

The　rubber　soared　right　across　the　room　and　crashed　into　the　clock　on　the　back　wall；　which　plummeted　to　the　ground　and　shattered：　shards　of　plastic　and　metal　innards　flew　everywhere；　and　several　girls；　including　Miss　Harvey；　shrieked　in　shock。

The　door　of　the　classroom　flew　open　and　bounced；　with　a　bang；　off　the　wall。　The　class　fell　quiet。　Cubby　was　standing　there；　flushed　and　furious。

‘What　is　going　on　in　this　room？　What　is　all　this　noise？’

Miss　Harvey　shot　up　like　a　jack…in…a…box　beside　Sukhvinder’s　desk；　looking　guilty　and　frightened。

‘Miss　Harvey！　Your　class　is　making　an　almighty　racket。　What’s　going　on？’

Miss　Harvey　seemed　struck　dumb。　Kevin　Cooper　hung　over　the　back　of　his　chair；　grinning；　looking　from　Miss　Harvey　to　Cubby　to　Fats　and　back　again。

Fats　spoke。

‘Well；　to　be　perfectly　frank；　Father；　we’ve　been　running　rings　around　this　poor　woman。’

Laughter　exploded。　Miss　Harvey’s　neck　was　disfigured　by　a　rising　maroon　rash。　Fats　balanced　himself　nonchalantly　on　the　rear　legs　of　his　chair；　his　face　perfectly　straight；　looking　at　Cubby　with　challenging　detachment。

‘That’s　enough；’　said　Cubby。　‘If　I　hear　any　more　noise　like　that　from　this　class；　I’ll　put　the　whole　lot　of　you　in　detention。　Do　you　understand？　All　of　you。’

He　shut　the　door　on　their　laughter。

‘You　heard　the　deputy　headmaster！’　cried　Miss　Harvey；　scurrying　to　the　front　of　the　room。　‘Be　quiet！　I　want　quiet！　You　–　Andrew　–　and　you；　Stuart　–　you　can　clear　up　that　mess！　Pick　up　all　those　bits　of　clock！’

They　set　up　a　routine　cry　of　injustice　at　this；　supported　shrilly　by　a　couple　of　the　girls。　The　actual　perpetrators　of　the　destruction；　of　whom　everybody　knew　Miss　Harvey　was　afraid；　sat　smirking　at　their　desks。　As　there　were　only　five　minutes　remaining　until　the　end　of　the　school　day；　Andrew　and　Fats　set　about　stringing　out　the　clearing　up　until　they　would　be　able　to　abandon　it　unfinished。　While　Fats　garnered　further　laughs　by　bouncing　hither　and　thither；　stiff…armed；　doing　the　Cubby　walk；　Sukhvinder　wiped　her　eyes　surreptitiously　with　her　wool…covered　hand　and　sank　back　into　obscurity。

When　the　bell　rang；　Miss　Harvey　made　no　attempt　to　control　or　contain　the　thunderous　clamour　or　rush　for　the　door。　Andrew　and　Fats　kicked　various　bits　of　clock　under　the　cupboards　at　the　back　of　the　room；　and　swung　their　school　bags　over　their　shoulders　again。

‘Wallah！　Wallah！’　called　Kevin　Cooper；　hurrying　to　catch　up　with　Andrew　and　Fats　as　they　headed　down　the　corridor。　‘Do　you　call　Cubby　“Father”　at　home？　Seriously？　Do　you？’

He　thought　he　had　something　on