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美丽英文(励志卷)-第14部分
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假如你犯了一个错误，或是未达到自己所期望的标准，你很可能会在真我与所谓的犯错者之间构筑一道壁垒。然而，对以往的行为全盘否定，势必会让你感到内疚、自责。深陷其中，你就不可能从中汲取有益的东西。因此，过分苛求自己时，最需要的就是自我宽恕。
宽恕就是放下情感上的包袱，抹平心灵上的创伤。它有四种类型：
第一种是对自己的初级宽恕。
第二种是对他人的初级宽恕。
第三种是对自己更深层次的宽恕。这种宽恕是针对自己深感羞愧的极大恶行而言。如果你所做的事有悖于自己的价值观和道德观，这时，你就在自己的为人准则和实际行动间制造了一道裂痕。这种情况下，你就必须努力悔改，以此来弥补过错，并要重新找到自我。当然，这并不是说你可以随意原谅自己，毫无悔意，但一味地埋怨自己是不健康的，过分地自我惩罚只会让你偏离自己道德准则的轨道越来越远。
第四种可能是最难的一种宽恕——是对他人更深层次的宽恕。生活中，你也许会受到极大委屈和伤害。以此来看，这似乎是不可原谅的。但是，心怀怨恨、企图报复只会使你陷于受伤害的阴影中。在这种情况下，你就要强迫自己放宽胸怀。只有这样，才能把注意力转移开来，不至于一味地沉浸在恼怒和仇恨中。只有做到宽恕，你才能忘却过错，净化心灵。于是，当你最终把自己解脱出来时，很自然地，你就会把它看成是成长过程中必不可少的一部分。
There Are No Mistakes； Only Lessons
Anonymous
Human growth is a process of experimentation； trial； and error； ultimately leading to wisdom。 Each time you choose to trust yourself and take action； you can never quite be certain how the situation will turn out。 Sometimes you are victorious； and some times you bee disillusioned。 The failed experiments； however； are no less valuable than the experiments that ultimately prove successful； in fact； you usually learn more from your perceived “failures” than you do from your perceived “successes”。
If you have made what you perceive to be a mistake； or failed to live up to your own expectations； you will most likely put up a barrier between your essence and the part of you that is the alleged wrong doer。 However； perceiving past actions as mistakes implies guilt and blame； and it is not possible to learn anything meaningful while you are engaged in blaming。 Therefore； forgiveness is required when you are harshly judging yourself。
Forgiveness is the act of erasing an emotional debt。 There are four kinds of forgiveness：
The first is beginner forgiveness for you。
The second kind of forgiveness is beginner forgiveness for another。
The third kind of forgiveness is advanced forgiveness of yourself。 This is for serious transgressions1； the ones you carry with deep shame。 When you do something that violates your own values and ethics； you create a chasm2 between your standards and your actual behavior。 In such a case； you need to work very hard at forgiving yourself for these deeds so that you can close this chasm and realign with the best part of yourself。 This does not mean that you should rush to forgive yourself or not feel regret or remorse； but wallowing in these feelings for a protracted3 period of time is not healthy； and punishing yourself excessively will only creates a bigger gap between you and your ethics。
The last and perhaps most difficult one is the advanced forgiveness of another。 At some time of our life； you may have been severely wronged or hurt by another person to such a degree that forgiveness seems impossible。 However； harboring resentment and revenge fantasies only keeps you trapped in victimhood。 Under such a circumstance； you should force yourself to see the bigger picture； by so doing； you will be able to shift the focus away from the anger and resentment。 It is only through forgiveness that you can erase wrongdoing4 and clean the memory。 When you can finally release the situation； you may e to see it as a necessary part of your growth。
成功的准则
书包 网 。 想看书来
佚名
成功是什么？
我并不打算诠释成功的概念，我认为要精确地下一个定义是不可能的。成功是在奥运会上赢得金牌或赢得温布尔登大奖赛，或被授予诺贝尔奖或是其他的什么吗？我认为，个人的成功其实可以是任何事情——它不必受到公众的认可。不快乐的百万富翁，或者被忽视的人过着简单而又快乐的生活，谁更成功呢？成功最简单的定义，我认为是“开始做某件事，并在做的过程中获得成就感”。至于具体做什么，做的事情有多么渺小，都不重要。
相信自己能成功，你就会获得成功。也许，生活的目标就是，无论你选择在哪个方面，都努力地去达到成功。因为它使你从烦恼中解脱出来，不是吗？
对于我们每一个人来说，成功的意义都有所不同。一些人认为要用金融数目来衡量，比如，拥有财富；另一些人认为是乐于助人，而不是帮助自己。也许两者兼而有之，或者，只是为了达到目的而已，成功是个人的事。对很多人来说，成功是他们生存的根本——我们存在的理由就是要去完成生命中一些有价值的事。对很大一部分人来说，他们想成功与否无关紧要；而对于我来说，也无所谓。只要这是你真正想要的，并能使你快乐地生活。但是，很多人则渴望并激励自己去追求公众的认可和残酷的竞争得到的成果。多少人会真正快乐呢？多少人是真正在做他们想做的事呢？（附带一句，有能力想象使我们有别于动物。）
不论是什么激发你个人的追求，不论你选择一生做什么，不要期待立刻成功。多年的奋斗、努力和学习如何选择你奋斗的领域或者职业，这并不是一件容易的事。我完全同意这个观点。要想在任何一个领域获得成功，都需要勇气、品质和自律。所有成功的人几乎都曾在某方面怀疑过自己，并想过要放弃。但是，他们坚持了下来。在离矿井中的金矿层仅有一或两英尺的时候，很多人却放弃了，与成功仅有一步之遥。可以肯定的是：成功孕育成功，因为它自身积累了动力，当一切顺利时，你便获得了飞速成功的机会。
我喜欢下面这些语录。他们都能代表我个人对成功的理解，因而，我将与你分享……
“成功是不断向预先确定的有价值的目标前进的旅程。”“用自己的方式生活，达到自己定下的目标，做自己想做的人——这就是成功。”
The Principle of Success
Anonymous
What is success？
I am not going to try to define success。 I think a precise1 definition is impossible。 Is it winning a Gold Medal at the Olympic Games or winning Wimbledon； or being awarded a Nobel Prize？ What else？ I believe personal success could be anything at all—it does not have to involve public recognition。 Who is more successful？ A millionaire who is unhappy； or an unnoticed person who has led a simple； happy life？ The simplest definition of success I think is“to set out to do something and to succeed in doing it”。 It really doesn’t matter what； or how humble2 the undertaking is。
Believe you can succeed and you will。 Achieving success in whatever endeavor3 you choose may be the goal of life， because it gives you freedom from worry。 Could that be？
Success means different things to every one of us。 Some people believe it is measured in financial terms； such as having wealth； others believe it is helping others rather than helping themselves。 A bit of both perhaps！Or it could be simply achieving for achievement’s sake。 Success is such a personal thing。 To many people it is the very root of their being—the reason for existing is to achieve something worthwhile in our lives。 To the vast majority4 of the population it doesn’t matter much whether they want to be successful or not； that’s OK by me； as long as that is what you really want and you are happy with life。 However； most people want and are motivated to a great extent by public recognition and a relentless pursuit of achievement。 How many people too are really happy？ How many people are really doing what they want to with their lives？（Incidentally； the ability to imagine makes us different from animals）。
No matter what motivates you personally。。。whatever you choose to do with your life； don’t expect instant success。 The years of struggle； mitment and learning in excelling at whatever endeavor or trade you choose； is no easy task。 I would wholeheartedly agree with that statement。 It takes a lot of courage； character and discipline5 to achieve success in any field。 Nearly all successful people have doubted themselves at some point and wanted to give up。 Yet they carried on。 So many people give up within an inch or two away from the gold in the seam down the mine—a whisker away from success。 One thing is for sure： success breeds success； as it gathers a momentum of its own and you get on an inning streak when everything seems to fit into place。
I like all of the following quotations。 They all stand for what success means to me personally。 So I’ll share them with you。。。
“Success is the continuous journey towards the achievement of predetermined worthwhile goals。” “To live your life in your own way。 To reach the goals you’ve set for yourself。 To be the person you want to be—that is success。”
你接受挑战吗
佚名
面对生活中的尴尬和艰辛，我们应该轻易悲痛吗？或者，我们是否应该直面阻碍，接受它的挑战呢？选择不同的立场，可能使自己成为被压抑的牺牲品。不论发生什么事，我们都可以把它当成生活中某种不祥的征兆。很多时候，我们需要确定自己作出的选择是受智慧的指引还是受恐惧的驱使。
如果把生活比喻成杂耍，或是一种体育竞赛，我们就会认同那些设置的限制和阻碍，然后寻找方法、集中精力去跨越。我们需要不同的才能和力量以清除障碍；我们的信念、幽默和希望都可能受到考验，但它们在我们全力克服各种困难的过程中，促进了我们的成长。
歧视和偏见都是挑战。我们迫使自己付出比别人更多的努力，但是，工作的回报却由自己享用。更重要的是，我们去从事那些更有意义和价值的工作。
要获得成功，你必须接受挑战。通常，各种障碍如文化差异、缺乏了解等困扰着我们，但团结一致、相互帮助、敏锐察觉彼此的需要，却有利于我们的成长。只有处于一个建立在合作、荣耀、自豪和热情之上的健康社会时，我们才可能保持文化的差异性和完整性。只要我们致力于提高如知识共享、团结协作、随机应变和敢于冒险等重要技能，我们的未来就会更加美好。
团结起来吧！通过改变我们和他人看待问题的方式，我们就能使这个世界更加美好，让我们勇敢地迎接挑战吧！
Do You Accept Challenges
Anonymous
Should we easily wail about the embarrassment and the unfairness of life？ Or should we accept obstacles as challenges？ With a choice of stance we can allow ourselves to be oppressed victims。 When anything happens to us； we can take it as a sign that we should not expect anything good out of our lives。 These are times when we need to determine whether it is wisdom or fear that motivates us in our choices。
If we view our lives as a juggling act or a sort of sporting contest； we learn to go along with the limitations and obstacles that are dealt with us。 We then find ways to make it through the event in good shape and with energy。 Different talents and strengths will be called upon to get through the obstacles。 Our faith； humor； and hope may be tested； but they are what keeps us going as we try to overe the various obstacles。
Discrimination and prejudice are challenges。 We force ourselves to work twice as hard as others； however； the rewards from our work are ours to enjoy。 The important thing is to be working at something we find meaningful and worthwhile。
To succeed； you must accept challenges。 There will always be barriers； cultural differences； and lack of understanding around us； but it is beneficial for us to stay together； be sensitive to each other needs； and to help each other。 Maintaining cultural diversity and integrity is possible as a healthy munity builds on teamwork； praise； pride and enthusiasm。 Once； we are dedicated to improve critical skills such as knowledge sharing； collaboration； flexibility and risk taking； we will improve our future。
Together； we can make our world a better place in which to live by changing the way we and the rest of the population view it—positively。 Let’s make this challenge a reality。
生命的礼物（1）
佚名
我没有回报过社会。父亲时常教导我和姐姐，仁爱始于家庭。因而，我慷慨地给予家人和朋友关爱，但没为别人做过什么。我一直很钦佩那些人——他们自愿花时间和金钱救助身处困境的人们。当然，我也富有同情心，当看到报道红十字会拯救遭飓风袭击的灾民时，我的心都碎了，要知道，除了身上的衣服，这些难民失去了一切。我从未被动地援助过任何人，也从未捐过款。
我常因此感到不安，即便如此，这种负罪感也没能激发我做任何关爱他人的事。我宁愿不去想世间的苦难，所以，看电视时，只要有“援助儿童”的广告，我就换频道。眼不见，心不烦——这就是我对待世间苦难的方式。
内心中，我常为自己找借口，比如我对他人疾苦过于敏感，倘若过分关注，自己也会深感痛苦。我很清楚，自己不可能救人于危难。卷入他们的生活，只会让自己像他们一样沮丧、心烦意乱。我告诉自己，那不是他们真正需要的，他们也不想得到别人的同情；他们真正需要的是安慰，对，是精神慰藉，最重要的是，他们需要别人给予希望。而我从不相信自己能给谁希望。
数月后，我22岁的侄女打电话给我，她的声音非常甜美，总让我内心深受触动。“姑姑，血库打电话问我献不献血。�
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