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衽蛋窮徨慕 卦指云慕朕村 紗秘慕禰 厘議慕尺 厘議慕禰 TXT畠云和墮 〆辺茄欺厘議箝誓匂〇

my name is red-厘議兆忖出碕-及47何蛍

酔楯荷恬: 梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ○ 賜 ★ 辛酔堀貧和鍬匈 梓囚徒貧議 Enter 囚辛指欺云慕朕村匈 梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ● 辛指欺云匈競何! 泌惚云慕短嗤堋響頼���誅卒亮茂�俊彭堋響��辛聞喘貧圭 "辺茄欺厘議箝誓匂" 孔嬬 才 "紗秘慕禰" 孔嬬��

^Hayriye�察�tell us a story�察院�said Orhan as he sat on his chamber pot。 
^Once  upon  a  time  there  was  a  blue  man�察院 �said  Hayriye�察  �and  his  closest 
panion was a jinn。 ̄ 
^Why was the man blue�拭院�said Orhan。 
^For  goodness  sake�察 �Hayriye�察院 �I  said。  ^Tonight  at  least  don¨t  tell  a  story 
about jinns and ghosts。 ̄ 
^Why  shouldn¨t  she�拭院 �said  Shevket。  ^Mother�察 �after  we  fall  asleep  do  you 
leave the bed and go to be with Grandfather�拭院�
^Your grandfather�察�Allah protect him�察�is gravely ill�察院�I said。 ^Of course I go to 
his bedside at night to look after him。 Then�察�I return to our bed�察�don¨t I�拭院�
^Have Hayriye look after Grandfather�察院�said Shevket。 ^Doesn¨t Hayriye look 
after my grandfather at night anyway�拭院�
^Are you finished�拭院�Hayriye asked of Orhan。 As she wiped Orhan¨s behind 
with a wet rag�察�his face was overe with a sweet lethargy。 She glanced into 
the pot and wrinkled up her face�察�not due to the smell�察�but as if what she saw 
wasn¨t sufficient。 
^Hayriye�察院�I said。 ^Empty the chamber pot and bring it back。 I don¨t want 
Shevket to leave the room in the middle of the night。 ̄ 
^Why shouldn¨t I leave the room�拭院�asked Shevket。 ^Why shouldn¨t Hayriye 
tell us a story about jinns and fairies�拭院�
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^Because there are jinns in the house�察�you idiot�察院�Orhan said�察�not so much 
out  of  fear�察 �but  with  the  dumb  optimism  I  always  noticed  in  his  expression 
after he¨d relieved himself。 
^Mother�察�are there jinns here�拭院�
^If you leave the room�察�if you attempt to see your grandfather�察�the jinn will 
catch you。 ̄ 
^Where  will  Black  lay  out  his  bed�拭院 �said  Shevket。  ^Where  will  he  sleep 
tonight�拭院�
^I¨m not sure�察院�I said。 ^Hayriye will be preparing his bed。 ̄ 
^Mother�察�you¨re still going to sleep with us�察�aren¨t you�拭院�said Shevket。 
^How many times do I have to tell you�拭�I¨ll sleep together with you two as 
before。 ̄ 
^Always�拭院�
Hayriye left carrying the chamber pot。 From the cabi where I¨d hidden 
them�察  �I   removed   the   remaining   nine   illustrations   left   behind   by   the 
unspeakable murderer and sat on the bed。 By the light of a candle�察�I stared at 
them  for  a  long  time  trying  to  fathom  their  secret。  These  illustrations  were 
beautiful  enough  that  you  might  mistake  them  for  your  own  forgotten 
memories�察�and as with writing�察�as you looked at them�察�they spoke。 
I¨d  lost  myself  in  the  pictures。  I  understood  from  the  scent  of  Orhan¨s 
beautiful  head�察 �upon  which  I¨d  rested  my  nose�察 �that  he�察 �too�察 �was  looking  at 
that odd and suspicious Red。 As occasionally happened�察�I had the urge to take 
out  my  breast  and  nurse  him。  Later�察 �when  Orhan  was  frightened  by  the 
terrifying picture of Death�察�gently and sweetly breathing through his reddish 
lips�察�I suddenly wanted to eat him。 
^I¨ll eat you up�察�do you understand me�拭院�
^Mama�察�tickle me�察院�he said and threw himself down。 
^Get  off  there�察 �get  up  you  beast�察院 �I  screamed  and  slapped  him。  He¨d  lain 
across the pictures。 I checked the illustrations�察�apparently no harm had e 
to  them。  The  image  of  the  horse  in  the  topmost  picture  was  faintly�察 �yet 
unnoticeably�察�crumpled。 
Hayriye entered with the empty chamber pot。 I gathered the pictures and 
was about to leave the room when Shevket began to cry�此�
^Mother�拭�Where are you going�拭院�
228 
 
^I¨ll be right back。 ̄ 
I  crossed  the  freezing  hallway。  Black  was  seated  across  from  my  father¨s 
empty  cushion�察 �in  the  same  position  that  he¨d  spent  four  days  discussing 
painting and perspective with him。 I laid out the illustrations on the folding 
bookstand�察�the cushion and on the floor before him。 Color abruptly suffused 
the  candlelit  room  with  a  warmth  and  an  astonishing  liveliness�察 �as  if 
everything had been set in motion。 
Utterly  still�察 �we  looked  at  the  pictures  at  length�察 �silently  and  respectfully。 
When we made even the slightest movement�察�the still air�察�which bore the scent 
of  death  from  the  room  across  the  wide  hall�察 �would  make  the  candle  flame 
flicker and my father¨s mysterious illustrations seemed to move too。 Had the 
paintings taken on such significance for me because they were the cause of my 
father¨s  death�拭 �Was  I  mesmerized  by  the  peculiarity  of  the  horse  or  the 
uniqueness  of  Red�察 �by  the  misery  of  the  tree  or  the  sadness  of  the  two 
wandering dervishes�察�or was it because I feared the murderer who¨d killed my 
father  and  perhaps  others  on  account  of  these  illustrations�拭 �After  a  while�察�
Black  and  I  fully  understood  that  the  silence  between  us�察 �as  much  as  it 
might¨ve been caused by the paintings�察�was also due to our being alone in the 
same room on our wedding night。 Both of us wanted to speak。 
^When  we  wake  tomorrow  morning�察 �we  should  tell  everybody  that  my 
hapless father has passed away in his sleep�察院�I said。 Although what I¨d said was 
correct�察�it appeared as if I were being insincere。 
^Everything  will  be  fine  in  the  morning�察院 �said  Black  in  the  same  peculiar 
manner�察�unable to believe in the truth of what he¨d spoken。 
When he made a nearly imperceptible gesture to draw closer to me�察�I had 
the urge to embrace him and�察�as I did with the children�察�to take his head into 
my hands。 
Just  at  that  moment�察 �I  heard  the  door  to  my  father¨s  room  open  and�察�
springing up in terror�察�I ran over�察�opened our door and looked out�此�By the light 
that filtered into the hallway�察�I was shocked to see my father¨s door half open。 
I stepped into the icy hallway。 My father¨s room�察�heated by the still´lit brazier�察�
reeked of decay。 Had Shevket or somebody else e here�拭�His body�察�dressed 
in  his  nightgown�察 �rested  peacefully�察 �bathed  in  the  faint  light  of  the  brazier。  I 
thought  about  the  way�察 �on  some  nights�察 �I¨d  say�察  �Have  a  good  night�察 �dear 
Father�察院�while he read the Book of the Soul by candlelight before going to sleep。 
Raising himself slightly�察�he¨d take the glass I¨d brought him out of my hand 
and say�察 �May the water bearer never want for anything�察院�before kissing me on 
229 
 
the cheek and looking into my eyes as he used to do when I was a girl。 I stared 
down at my father¨s horrid face and�察�in short�察�I was afraid。 I wanted to avoid 
looking at him�察�while at the same time�察�goaded by the Devil�察�I wanted to see 
how gruesome he¨d bee。 
I timidly returned to the room with the blue door whereupon Black made 
an advance on me。 I pushed him away�察�more unthinkingly than out of anger。 
We  struggled  in  the  flickering  light  of  the  candle�察 �though  it  wasn¨t  really  a 
struggle  but  rather  the  imitation  of  a  struggle。  We  were  enjoying  bumping 
into each other�察�touching one another¨s arms�察�legs and chests。 The confusion I 
felt resembled the emotional state that Nizami had described with regard to 
H┨srev and Shirin�此�Could Black�察�who¨d read Nizami so thoroughly�察�sense that�察�
like  Shirin�察 �I  also  meant  ^Continue ̄  when  I  said�察  �Don¨t  bruise  my  lips  by 
kissing them so hard ̄�拭�
^I  refuse  to  sleep  in  the  same  bed  with  you  until  that  devil´of´a´man  is 
found�察�until my father¨s murderer is caught�察院�I said。 
As  I  fled  the  room�察 �I  was  seized  by  embarrassment。  I¨d  spoken  in  such  a 
shrill voice it must¨ve seemed I wanted the children and Hayriye to hear what 
I¨d said!perhaps even my poor father and my late husband�察�whose body had 
long decayed and turned to dust on who knows what barren patch of earth。 
As soon as I was back with the children�察�Orhan said�察 �Mama�察�Shevket went 
out into the hallway。 ̄ 
^Did you go out�拭院�I said�察�and made as if to slap him。 
^Hayriye�察院�said Shevket and hugged her。 
^He didn¨t go out�察院�said Hayriye。 ^He was in the room the entire time。 ̄ 
I  shuddered  and  couldn¨t  look  her  in  the  eyes。  I  realized  that  after  my 
father¨s death was announced�察�the children would thenceforth seek refuge in 
Hayriye�察�tell her all our secrets�察�and that this lowly servant�察�taking advantage of 
this opportunity�察�would try to control me。 She wouldn¨t stop there either�察�but 
would try to place the onus of my father¨s murder onto me�察�then she¨d have 
the guardianship of the children passed on to Hasan� �Yes�察�indeed she would� �
All this shameless scheming because she¨d slept with my father�察�may he rest in 
divine light。 Why should I hide all this from you any longer�拭�She was�察�in fact�察�
doing this�察�of course。 I smiled sweetly at her。 Then�察�I lifted Shevket onto my lap 
and kissed him。 
^I¨m telling you�察�Shevket went out into the hallway�察院�Orhan said。 
230 
 
^Get into bed�察�you two。 Let me get between you so I can tell you the story 
of the tailless jackal and the black jinn。 ̄ 
^But  you  told  Hayriye  not  to  tell  us  a  story  about  jinns�察院 �said  Shevket。 
^Why can¨t Hayriye tell us the story tonight�拭院�
^Will they visit the City of the Forsaken�拭院�asked Orhan。 
^Yes they will� 院�I said。 ^None of the children in that city have a mother or a 
father。  Hayriye�察 �go  downstairs  and  check  the  doors  again。  We¨ll  probably  be 
asleep by the middle of the story。 ̄ 
^I won¨t fall asleep�察院�said Orhan。 
^Where is Black going to sleep tonight�拭院�said Shevket。 
^In  the  workshop�察院 �I  said。  ^Snuggle  up  tight  to  your  mother  so  we  can 
warm up nicely under the quilt。 Whose icy little feet are these�拭院�
^Mine�察院�said Shevket。 ^Where will Hayriye sleep�拭院�
I¨d  begun  telling  the  story�察 �and  as  always�察 �Orhan  fell  asleep  first�察 �after 
which I lowered my voice。 
^After I fall asleep�察�you¨re not going to leave the bed�察�right�察�Mama�拭院�said 
Shevket。 
^No�察�I won¨t leave。 ̄ 
I really didn¨t intend to leave。 After Shevket fell asleep�察�I was musing about 
how pleasurable it was to fall asleep cuddled up with my sons on the night of 
my second wedding!with my handsome�察�intelligent and desirous husband in 
the next room。 I¨d dozed off with such thoughts�察�but my sleep was fitful。 Later�察�
this is what I remembered about that strange restless realm between dreaming 
and  wakefulness�此 �First  I  settled  accounts  with  my  deceased  father¨s  angry 
spirit�察�then I fled the specter of that disgraceful murderer who wanted to send 
me off to be with my father。 As he pursued me�察�the unyielding murderer�察�even 
more terrifying than my father¨s spirit�察�began making a clattering ruckus。 In 
my dream�察�he tossed stones at our house。 They struck the windows and landed 
on  the  roof。  Later�察 �he  tossed  a  rock  at  the  door�察 �at  one  point  even  trying  to 
force  it  open。  Next�察 �when  this  evil  spirit  began  to  wail  like  some  ungodly 
animal�察�my heart began to pound。 
I awoke covered in sweat。 Had I heard those sounds in my dream or had I 
been  awakened  by  sounds  from  somewhere  in  the  house�拭 �I  couldn¨t  decide�察�
and so snuggled up with the children�察�and without moving�察�I waited。 I¨d nearly 
assured myself that the noises were only in my sleep when I heard the same 
231 
 
wail。 Just then�察�something large landed in the courtyard with a bang。 Was this 
also a rock�察�perhaps�拭�
I  was  paralyzed  with  terror。  But  the  situation  immediately  got  worse�此 �I 
heard noises from within the house。 Where was Hayriye�拭�In which room had 
Black  fallen  asleep�拭 �In  what  state  was  my  father¨s  pitiful  corpse�拭 �My  God�察 �I 
prayed�察�protect us。 The children were deep asleep。 
Had  this  happened  before  I  was  married�察 �I¨d  have  risen  from  bed�察 �and 
taking charge of the situation like the man of the house�察�I¨d have suppressed 
my  fears  and  scared  away  the  jinns  and  spirits。  In  my  present  condition�察�
however�察�I cowered and hugged the children。 It was as if there were no one else 
in the world。 Nobody was going to e to the aid of the children and me。 
Expecting something awful to happen�察�I prayed to Allah for deliverance。 As in 
my dreams�察�I was alone。 I heard the courtyard gate open。 It was the courtyard 
gate�察�wasn¨t it�拭�Yes�察�absolutely。 
I  rose  abruptly�察 �gra
卦指朕村 貧匯匈 和匯匈 指欺競何 壘��0�� 家��0��
酔楯荷恬: 梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ○ 賜 ★ 辛酔堀貧和鍬匈 梓囚徒貧議 Enter 囚辛指欺云慕朕村匈 梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ● 辛指欺云匈競何!
梁椣戻幣�� 梁心弌傍議揖扮窟燕得胎��傍竃徭失議心隈才凪万弌誌育断蛍�輌臆惨軼僑〃�燕慕得珊辛參資誼持蛍才将刮襲潜��範寔亟圻幹慕得 瓜寡追葎娼得辛參資誼寄楚署衛、持蛍才将刮襲潜填��