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高山上的呼喊-go tell it on the mountain-第15部分

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y; were now tobegin。 And; while his heart was speaking; he found himself before his mother。 Her face was full oftears; and for a long while they looked at each other; saying nothing。 And once again; he tried toread the mystery of that face—which; as it had never before been so bright and pained with love;had never seemed before so far from him; so wholly in munion with a life beyond his life。 He wanted to fort her; but the night had given him no language; no second sight; no power to seeinto the heart of any other。 He knew only—and now; looking at his mother; he knew that he couldnever tell it—that the heart was a fearful place。 She kissed him; and she said: ‘I’m mighty proud;Johnny。 You keep the faith。 I’m going to be praying for you till the Lord puts me in my grave。’
  Then he stood before his father。 In the moment that he forced himself to raise his eyes andlook into his father’s face; he felt in himself a stiffening; and a panic and a blind rebellion; and ahope for peace。 The tears still on his face; and smiling still; he said: ‘Praise the Lord。’
  ‘Praise the Lord;’ said his father。 He did not move to touch him; did not kiss him; did notsmile。 They stood before each other in silence; while the saints rejoiced; and John struggled tospeak the authoritative; the living word that would conquer the great division between his fatherand himself。 But it did not e; the living word; in the silence something died in John; andsomething came alive。 It came to him that he must testify: his tongue only could bear witness tothe wonders he had seen。 And he remembered; suddenly; the text of a sermon he had once heardhis father preach。 And he opened his mouth; feeling; as he watched his father; the darkness roarbehind him; and the very earth beneath him seem to shake; yet he gave to his father their montestimony。 ‘I’m saved;’ he said; ‘and I know I’m saved。’ And then; as his father did not speak; herepeated his father’s text: ‘My witness is in Heaven and my record is on high。’
  ‘It e from your mouth;’ said his father then。 ‘I want to see you live it。 It’s more than anotion;’
  ‘I’m going to pray God;’ said John—and his voice shook; whether with joy or grief hecould not say—‘to keep me; and make me strong … to stand … to stand against the enemy … andagainst everything and everybody … that wants to cut down my soul。’
  Then his tears came down again; like a wall between him and his father。 His Aunt Florencecame and took him in her arms。 Her eyes were dry; and her face was old in the savage; morninglight。 But her voice; when she spoke; was gentler that he had ever known it to be before。
  ‘You fight the good fight;’ she said; ‘you hear? Don’t you get weary; and don’t you getscared。 Because I know the Lord’s done laid His hands on you。’
  ‘Yes;’ he said; weeping; ‘yes。 I’m going to serve the Lord。’
  ‘Amen!’ cried Elisha。 ‘Bless our God!’
  The filthy streets rang with the early…morning light as they came out of the temple。
  They were all there; save young Ella Mae; who had departed while John was still on thefloor—she had a bad cold; said Praying Mother Washington; and needed to have her rest。 Now; inthree groups; they walked the long; gray; silent avenue: Praying Mother Washington withElizabeth and Sister McCandless and Sister Price; and before them Gabriel and Florence; andElisha and John ahead。
  ‘You know; the Lord is a wonder;’ said the praying mother。 ‘Don’t you know; all this weekHe just burdened my soul; and kept me a…praying and a…weeping before Him? Look like I justcouldn’t get no ease nohow—and I know He had me a…tarrying for that boy’s soul。’
   ‘Well; amen;’ said Sister Price。 ‘Look like the Lord just wanted this church to rock。 Youremember how He spoke through Sister McCandless Friday night; and told us to pray; and He’dwork a mighty wonder in our midst? And He done moved—hallelujah—He done troubledeverybody’s mind。’
  ‘I just tell you;’ said Sister McCandless; ‘all you got to do is listen to the Lord; He’ll leadyou right every time; He’ll move every time。 Can’t nobody tell me my God ain’t real。’
  ‘And you see the way the Lord worked with young Elisha there?’ said Praying MotherWashington; with a calm; sweet smile。 ‘Had that boy down there on the floor a…prophesying intongues; amen; just the very minute before Johnny fell out a…screaming; and a…crying before theLord。 Look like the Lord was using Elisha to say: “It’s time; boy; e on home。” ’
  ‘Well; He is a wonder;’ said Sister Price。 ‘And Johnny’s got two brothers now。’
  Elizabeth said nothing。 She walked with her head bowed; hands clasped lightly before her。
  Sister Price turned tom look at her; and smiled。
  ‘I know;’ she said; ‘you’s a mighty happy woman this morning。’
  Elizabeth smiled and raised her head; but did not look directly at Sister Price。 She lookedahead; down the long avenue; where Gabriel walked with Florence; where John walked withElisha。
  ‘Yes;’ she said; at last。 ‘I began praying。 And I ain’t sopped praying yet。’
  ‘Yes; Lord;’ said Sister Price; ‘can’t none of us stop praying till we see His blessed face。’
  ‘But I bet you didn’t never think;’ said Sister McCandless; with a laugh; ‘that little Johnnywas going to jump up so soon; and get religion。 Bless our God!’
  ‘The Lord is going to bless that boy; you mark my words;’ said Praying MotherWashington。
  ‘Shake hands with the preacher; Johnny。’
  ‘Got a man in the Bible; son; who liked music; too。 And he got to dancing one day beforethe Lord。 You reckon you going to dance before the Lord one of these days?’
  ‘Yes; Lord;’ said Sister Price; ‘the Lord done raised you up a holy son。 He going to fortyour grey hairs。’
  Elizabeth found that her tears were falling; slowly; bitterly; in the morning light。 ‘I pray theLord;’ she said; ‘to bear him up on every side。’
  ‘Yes;’ said Sister McCandless; gravely; ‘it’s more than a notion。 The Devil rises on everyhand。’
  Then; in silence; they came to the wide crossing where the tramline ran。 A lean cat stalkedthe gutter and fled as they approached; turned to watch them; with yellow; malevolent eyes; fromthe ambush of a dustbin。 A gray bird flew above them; above the electric wires for the tram line;and perched on the metal cornice of a roof。 Then; far down the avenue; they heard a siren; and the clanging of a bell; and looked up to see the ambulance speed past them on the way to the hospitalthat was near the church。
  ‘Another soul struck down;’ murmured Sister McCandless。 ‘Lord have mercy。’
  ‘He said in the last days evil would abound;’ said Sister Price。
  ‘Well; yes; He did say it;’ said Praying Mother Washington; ‘and I’m so glad He told us Hewouldn’t leave us fortless。’
  ‘’When ye see all these things; know that your salvation is at hand;’ said SisterMcCandless。 ‘A thousand shall fall at thy side; and ten thousand at thy right hand—but it ain’tgoing to e nigh thee。 So glad; amen; this morning; bless my Redeemer。’
  ‘You remember that day when you e into the store?’
  ‘I didn’t think you never looked at me。’
  ‘Well—you was mighty pretty。’
  ‘Didn’t little Johnny never say nothing;’ asked Praying Mother Washington; ‘to make youthink the Lord was working in his heart?’
  ‘He always kind of quiet;’ said Elizabeth。 ‘He don’t say much。’
  ‘No;’ said Sister McCandless; ‘he ain’t like all these rough young one nowadays—he gotsome respect for his elders。 You done raised him mighty well; Sister Grimes。’
  ‘It was his birthday yesterday;’ Elizabeth said。
  ‘No!’ cried Sister Price。 ‘How old he got to be yesterday?’
  ‘He done made fourteen;’ she said。
  ‘You hear that?’ said Sister Price; with wonder。 ‘The Lord done saved that boy’s soul onhis birthday!’
  ‘Well; he got two birthdays now;’ smiled Sister McCandless; ‘just like he got two brothers—one in the flesh; and one in the Spirit。’
  ‘Amen; bless the Lord!’ cried Praying Mother Washington。
  ‘What book was it; Richard?’
  ‘Oh; I don’t remember。 Just a book。’
  ‘You smiled。’
  ‘You was mighty pretty。’
  She took her sodden handkerchief out of her bag; and dried her eyes; and dried her eyesagain; looking down the avenue。
  ‘Yes;’ said Sister Price; gently; ‘you just thank the Lord。 You just let the tears fall。 I knowyour heart is full this morning。’
  ‘The Lord’s done give you;’ said Praying Mother Washington; ‘a mighty blessing—andwhat the Lord gives; can’t no man take away。’
   ‘I open;’ said Sister McCandless; ‘and no man can shut。 I shut; and no man can open。’
  ‘Amen;’ said Sister Price。 ‘Amen。’
  ‘Well; I reckon;’ Florence said; ‘your soul is praising God this morning。’
  He looked straight ahead; saying nothing; holding his body more rigid than an arrow‘You always been saying;’ Florence said; ‘how the Lord would answer your prayer。’ Andshe looked sideways at him; with a little smile。
  ‘He going to learn;’ he said at last; ‘that it ain’t all in the singing and the shouting—the wayof holiness is a hard way。 He got the steep side of the mountain to climb。’
  ‘But he got you there;’ she said; ‘ain’t he to help him when he stumbles; and to be a goodexample?’
  ‘I’m going to see to it;’ he said; ‘that he walks right before the Lord。 The Lord’s done puthis soul in my charge—and I ain’t going to have that boy’s blood on my hands。’
  ‘No;’ she said; mildly; ‘I reckon you don’t want that。’
  Then they heard the siren; and the headlong; warning bell。 She watched his face as helooked outward at the silent avenue and at the ambulance that raced to carry someone to healing;or to death。
  ‘Yes;’ she said; ‘that wagon’s ing; ain’t; one day for everybody?’
  ‘I pray;’ he said; ‘it finds you ready; sister。’
  ‘Is it going to find you ready?’ she asked。
  ‘I know my name is written in the Book of Life;’ he said。 ‘I know I’m going to look on mySavior’s face in glory。’
  ‘Yes;’ she said; slowly; ‘we’s all going to be together there。 Mama; and you; and me; andDeborah—and what was the name of that little girl who died not long after I left home?’
  ‘What little girl who died?’ he asked。 ‘A lot of folks died after you left home—you leftyour mother on her dying bed。’
  ‘This girl was a mother; too;’ she said。 ‘Look like she went north all by herself; and had herbaby; and died—weren’t nobody to help her。 Deborah wrote me about it。 Sure; you ain’t forgottenthat girl’s name; Gabriel!’
  Then his step faltered—seemed; for a moment; to drag。 And he looked at her。 She smiled;and lightly touched his arm。
  ‘You ain’t forgotten her name;’ she said。 ‘You can’t tell me you done forgot her name。 Isyou going to look on her face; too? Is her name written in the Book of Life?’
  In utter silence they walked together; her hand still under his trembling arm。
   ‘Deborah didn’t never write;’ she at last pursued; ‘about what happened to the baby。 Didyou ever see him? You going to meet him in Heaven; too?’
  ‘The Word tell us;’ he said; ‘to let the dead bury the dead。 Why you want to go rummagingaround back there; digging up things what’s all forgotten now? The Lord; He knows my life—Hedone forgive me a long time ago。’
  ‘Look like;’ she said; ‘you think the Lord’s a man like you; you think you can fool Himlike you fool men; and you think He forgets; like men。 But God don’t forget nothing; Gabriel—ifyour name’s down there in the Book; like you say; it’s got all what you done right down there withit。 And you going to answer for it; too。’
  ‘I done answered;’ he said; ‘already before my God。 I ain’t got to answer now; in front ofyou。’
  She opened her handbag; and took out the letter。
  ‘I been carrying this letter now;’ she said; ‘for more than thirty years。 And I beenwondering all that time if I’d ever talk to you about it。’
  And she looked at him。 He was looking; unwillingly; at the letter; which she held tightly inone hand。 It was old; and dirty; and brown; and torn; he recognized Deborah’s uncertain; tremblinghand; and
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